Mismatched
by ThatWrestlingFanWrites
Summary: Sitcom style story: Becky has gotten herself a new roommate, but she isn't what she expected. Can she learn to live with her difficult new roomie, or was it just a wild Mismatch?
1. S1E1: Pilot

**INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY is sitting on her bed, typing something on her laptop. SASHA is sitting on the floor in front of Becky's bed.

BECKY: (dramatically raising a finger and pressing a key on the laptop) Aaaand send.

After a few moments of silence, her laptop makes a soft ding.

BECKY: (smiling at the laptop) Your trade request was been denied. (Her smile quickly fades) Did you just deny my trade, Sasha?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Yeeeeep

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: What was wrong with it?

SASHA: You offered Tom Brady for Sebastian Janikowski.

BECKY: So? Janikowski had a great game last week; Didn't he run for, like, a hundred yards?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (sighs) Janikowski is a kicker, Becky.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Oh.

SASHA: (laughs and shakes her head)

BECKY: I meant to send you Mike McCarthy.

SASHA: (gives a "are you kidding me" look towards the camera)

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: When's your roommate supposed to get here?

BECKY: Between three and four.

SASHA: What do you know about this Alex guy?

BECKY: I know his name is Alex.

SASHA: (gives another "are you kidding me" look towards the camera)

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (stands up and places her hands on her hips) You're gonna let a guy, you know nothing about, move in with you?

BECKY: (nodding her head) Yeah.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (sits beside BECKY) What happens if Alex turns out to be a serial killer?

BECKY: That's why I invited you over.

SASHA: So I can protect you from a possible serial killer?

BECKY: No, so I can push you down and hopefully distract him.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Thanks, babe.

BECKY: (chuckles) You're welcome. (leans over and kisses SASHA)

 _*Ooh Track*_

There's a loud knocking on the front door.

BECKY: Oh, that might be Alex.

SASHA: Better get my running shoes on.

 _*Laugh Track*_

 **INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY rushes over to the door and flings it open. SAMI enters the living room.

SAMI: Hey.

 _*Cheer Track*_

BECKY: You're not Alex.

SAMI: (furrows brow in confusion and shakes his head) No, I'm Sami.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (sitting on the couch) She's waiting for her new roommate: Some guy named Alex.

SAMI: (sits on couch) How'd you meet Alex?

BECKY: (sits on couch next to SASHA) Craigslist.

SAMI: What's he like?

BECKY: His name is Alex.

SAMI raises an eyebrow in question.

SAMI: What else?

BECKY: That's it.

SAMI: What if he turns out to be a serial killer?

SASHA: Thank you!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Why'd you stop by, Sami?

SAMI: Just wanted to say hey to my friends.

SASHA: Dana out of town?

SAMI: For a week.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: And I am lonely as hell.

 _*Laugh Track*_

There is another loud knock at the door.

BECKY: (walking towards the door) That might be Alex.

SASHA: (leaning towards SAMI, whispering) Get ready to run.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY opens the door; ALEXA steps into the living room.

ALEXA: You must be Becky.

BECKY: Uh... Alex?

ALEXA: Actually, it's Alexa.

BECKY tilts her head and gives ALEXA a once over.

BECKY: How old are you?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Twenty-five?

SAMI: You say that like you're unsure.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I thought you were gonna be a guy.

ALEXA: Nope. I'm a girl.

BECKY: Ok, that's fine. (gesturing at SASHA and SAMI) That's my friend, Sami, and my girlfriend, Sasha.

ALEXA walks across the living towards SASHA and SAMI.

ALEXA: (hugging SAMI) Nice to meet you, Sasha.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: I'm Sasha.

ALEXA: (laughing nervously) Sorry, brain fart.

SAMI: I have a beard.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**

* * *

*30 second Oreo commercial*

*15 second Gieco commercial*

*15 second Six Flags commercial*

*30 second Pepsi commercial*

*15 second Taco Bell commercial*

*15 second McDonald's commercial*

* * *

 **INT. - CHARLOTTE AND AJ'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

AJ and KEVIN are seated on the couch, watching tv.

CHARLOTTE: (storms into living room wrapped in a towel) Babe!

AJ and KEVIN: Yeah?

AJ gives KEVIN a confused look.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Not you, Kev, why would I be talking to you?

KEVIN: A boy can dream, Char.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: I just found this (she holds up a purple bra) in the laundry hamper.

AJ: It's not mine.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Then whose is it?

AJ looks at KEVIN.

KEVIN: (shaking his head) It's not mine, I don't wear purple.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: I'm serious, AJ, I want to know whose this is, now!

AJ: I dunno, maybe Becky or Sasha left it over here when they went swimming.

CHARLOTTE: This isn't a joke, AJ.

KEVIN: I think it's pretty funny.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Shut up, Kevin.

The telephone starts ringing.

CHARLOTTE: (answering the phone) Hello?

BECKY: (through the phone) Hey, did I happen to leave a purple bra at your place?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Yeah, I think I found it.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE hangs up the phone and returns to the living room.

AJ: (smirking) So, who was that?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: I'm sorry I overreacted. (she kisses AJ on the cheek) I'm gonna go get changed.

CHARLOTTE leaves the room.

AJ: (turning towards KEVIN) Don't get married.

KEVIN: Wasn't gonna.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY and ALEXA are standing in the living room.

BECKY: Rents due at the end of the month, and that's about it.

ALEXA: Where does Sasha sleep?

BECKY: She has her own apartment across the hall. But, she usually sleeps with me when she stays over.

ALEXA: Am I allowed to bring guys over?

BECKY: Yeah, of course. You have a boyfriend?

ALEXA: No.

BECKY: Then why'd you ask?

ALEXA: I sometimes meet a guy when I'm out with my friends.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Of course you do.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN walks through the front door.

KEVIN: Hey, Becky, I'm here to meet that Alex guy.

BECKY: Sure, just barge into my home like an animal.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: (noticing ALEXA) Well, hello there.

ALEXA: (giggles) Hi.

KEVIN: I don't believe I've had the pleasure, Miss?

ALEXA: Bliss. Alexa Bliss.

KEVIN: (taking ALEXA's hand) Miss Bliss. (he kisses the back of ALEXA's hand and smiles)

BECKY watches on in shock.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Becky, which one's my room again?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: (stepping between KEVIN and ALEXA) No, no, no, no. (turning towards KEVIN) You are not sleeping with my roommate on her first day here.

KEVIN: Roommate? I thought you said it was a guy named Alex?

SASHA: (from BECKY's room) I thought she'd be a serial killer.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Wow, crazy first day. I'm gonna go unpack my stuff.

KEVIN: Need any help?

BECKY slaps KEVIN on the back of his head.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Ow!

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: I'll be fine. (walks into her room and shuts the door)

BECKY: If you come onto her again-

KEVIN: You'll castrate me, I know.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: That's what you told me about Sasha... And Sami.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: It worked didn't it?

KEVIN: I never hit on Sami!

BECKY: (pats KEVIN on the back) You keep telling yourself that.

SAMI enters the living room.

SAMI: Hey, I'm back.

KEVIN: Sami, did I ever hit on you?

SAMI: (turning back towards the door) And I'm leaving.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Don't worry, you were drunk. Heck, _I've_ hit on Sami before.

SASHA: (from Becky's room) What?

BECKY: Nothing!

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*Two minute preview of upcoming movie "The House We Built"*

* * *

 **INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA is sitting on the couch, eating a bag of potato chips. Around her are empty chip bags and empty soda cans.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (brushing crumbs off her Brown's jersey) Becky?

* * *

 **INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (BECKY'S ROOM)**

BECKY and SASHA are making out on BECKY's bed.

 _*Ooh track*_

ALEXA: (from living room) Becky!

BECKY: (groans and stops kissing SASHA) What?

ALEXA: Can you come here?

BECKY: Why?

ALEXA: (from the living room) I need help!

BECKY: (gets off the bed) I'll be right back.

SASHA: (with her back to the camera, lifts her shirt up) Hurry back.

 _*Ooh track*_

BECKY: (eyes go wide, nods her head quickly) Ok.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY enters the room and gasps at the mess around the apartment.

ALEXA: (jumps up and punches the air) Hell yeah, touchdown!

BECKY: What the heck happened?

ALEXA: (talking to BECKY but keeps her eyes on the tv) Hey, glad you're here. I need more Mountain Drop and Bepis.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Why can't you get it yourself?

ALEXA: It's the middle of a game. (a whistle blows on the tv) Oh come on, he barely hit him!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: So this is what you meant by "devoted Brown's fan."

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (sits on couch) Freakin' commercials.

BECKY: Maybe you could pick up a little before the games back on?

ALEXA: After the game, dude. Just let me watch this.

 _*Stereotypical "Trouble is brewing" music*_

BECKY: Listen here, Alexa.

ALEXA gives BECKY a confused look.

BECKY: I am not going to live with a roommate who's a pig.

ALEXA: Uh, I'll pick everything up when I'm done. Chill out, man.

BECKY: You little-

SASHA: (from BECKY's room) Becky!

BECKY: (takes a deep breath) I'm gonna go back in my room and make out with my girlfriend-

ALEXA: Could you not rub your gayness in my face?

 _*Sad Ooh Track*_

BECKY: (visibly upset) Ok, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that-

ALEXA: Cool, the game's back on, so shh.

BECKY: (groans in frustration and walks back to her room)

* * *

 **INT. - AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (BACKYARD)**

AJ is in his swimsuit, laying in a lounge chair. KEVIN is floating on an inflatable tube in the pool.

CHARLOTTE: (walks out onto the patio in her swimming gown with a tray of hamburgers) You hungry?

KEVIN: Yes.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: I meant AJ.

AJ: Yeah, I could eat.

CHARLOTTE: Come and get a hamburger. (unties swimming gown)

AJ: (walks over to CHARLOTTE and kisses her) Thanks, baby.

CHARLOTTE: (takes off her gown)

KEVIN: (notices CHARLOTTE and falls off his tube)

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: I know what I want for Christmas.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*1 minute NFL commercial*

*15 second State Farm commercial*

*30 second Xbox commercial*

*15 second Bud Light commercial*

* * *

 **INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY and SASHA walk into the living room.

BECKY: I just think it's not gonna work out with Alexa.

SASHA: Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

BECKY: (noticing the now clean living room) Wait a second.

SASHA: I thought you said she trashed the place.

BECKY: Me too.

ALEXA enters the living room.

ALEXA: So the Browns lost, again. And I like to clean when I'm sad.

BECKY: The living room is spotless, Alexa.

ALEXA: Yeah. I vacuumed, cleaned the coffee table, vacuumed out the couch, and did the dishes.

BECKY: (smiling) Thank you so much.

ALEXA: It was the least I could do; I'm sorry for being a jerk before. (she sighs) And it's never ok to say homophobic things.

SASHA: What now?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: It's fine. As long as the hurtful comments stop.

ALEXA: No problem.

BECKY: And you ease up on being a jerk.

ALEXA: Done deal.

BECKY: And you stop leaving garbage everywhere.

ALEXA: We'll see.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY laughs and hugs ALEXA.

* * *

 **[END CREDIT SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**


	2. S1E2: Extra Credit

**INT. - BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (KITCHEN)**

SASHA walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge; She takes out the orange juice, some fruit, and the milk before shutting the fridge again.

SASHA pours herself some cereal, a cup of juice, and sits at the kitchen table.

SASHA: (taking a bite of cereal and glancing at her phone) Giants lost last night. I hope Becky didn't start Eli in fantasy.

BECLY: (from her room) Son of a bitch!

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA enters the kitchen.

ALEXA: Hi.

SASHA: Mornin'.

ALEXA walks over to the coffee machine and begins brewing some coffee.

SASHA sets her phone down and takes another bite of her cereal.

SASHA: Why are you up so early?

ALEXA: I work the early shift today.

SASHA: What do you do?

The coffee machine dings.

ALEXA: I'm a bartender. (ALEXA pours a cup of coffee)

SASHA: I thought you said you had the early shift?

ALEXA: Yeah, I'm a kindergarten teacher too.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: That's a crazy combination.

ALEXA: (chuckles) It can be.

SASHA takes a sip of her orange juice.

SASHA: Do you ever get your student's parents in the bar?

ALEXA: Yeah, it's kinda funny: I have to tell kids not to yell and throw things at school, then have to tell their parents the same thing at the bar.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA takes a sip of her coffee and sits down at the kitchen table.

ALEXA: Why are you up so early?

SASHA: (sighs) I gotta be at the station at seven.

ALEXA: Oh, are you a cop?

SASHA: (shakes her head) No, I work at the radio station.

ALEXA: That sucks.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA tilts her head and narrows her eyes at ALEXA.

SASHA: (annoyed) Excuse me?

ALEXA: Not the job part, the getting up early.

SASHA: Oh. (forces a laugh) Sure.

BECKY enters the kitchen. BECKY kisses SASHA on the cheek and walks towards the coffee machine.

ALEXA: (to BECKY) What do you do for work, Becky?

BECKY: I'm a personal trainer.

ALEXA: You must be really _flexible_ with your schedule.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA gives ALEXA a disapproving look and shakes her head.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: I hope it's ok I made coffee.

BECKY: It's wonderful, actually. (she pours a cup of coffee) Sometimes I have to beg Sasha to make it.

SASHA: You know I love hearing you beg.

 _*Ooh and Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Is there any creamer or sugar left?

ALEXA: No.

BECKY: Good. (leans next to SASHA, whispering) Cause I like it black.

 _*Ooh track*_

ALEXA hears BECKY and spits out her coffee.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (getting up and starts to leave the kitchen) I wish I didn't hear that.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**

* * *

*15 second Denny's commercial*

*30 second super hero movie hype commercial*

*30 second Subway commercial*

*15 second Cover Girl commercial*

*30 second commercial about the new show "Baby, Help Me" premiering after this episode*

* * *

 **INT. - McMAHON MANUFACTURING IND. (OFFICE SPACE)**

AJ is seated at his desk, talking on a phone.

AJ: Yes, ma'am, I can guarantee your fire shields will be at your business in six to eight days.

KEVIN stops typing on his computer and turns around to face AJ.

AJ: Because I told the truck driver, Mark Henry, that I'd whip his butt if he made me look like a fool.

KEVIN shakes his head at AJ.

AJ: Alright, you have a good day now. (hangs up phone, looks at KEVIN) What?

KEVIN: Heard you talkin' smack, boy.

AJ: What?

MARK walks up to AJ's desk.

MARK: Heard you talkin' smack, boy.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: (visibly nervous, stands up) What? Come on, man. I just say that to make the customer smile, you know that.

MARK: (chuckles) Yeah, that does make 'em laugh. (pats AJ on the arm and knocks him back into his seat, walks away)

KEVIN: (smirking) Ya really showed him who's boss.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Whatever, man. (leans across desk, drops head into his hands)

KEVIN: Dude, I was kidding.

AJ: (shakes his head) It's not you; Charlotte's been on my case lately.

KEVIN: Why?

AJ: I have no idea. She keeps telling me I wouldn't care enough to understand.

KEVIN: I can take her off your hands for a little bit.

AJ gives KEVIN a confused look.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: I can kick your ass; You know that right?

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: No you can't.

AJ: I have before.

KEVIN: Name one time.

AJ: New Year's Eve, three years ago.

* * *

 **INT. - AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

"Three Years Ago" flashes across the screen.

KEVIN, visibly drunk, is leaning against the couch talking to CHARLOTTE.

KEVIN: (drunkingly) I can bench press like three hundred and fifty pounds.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (sarcastically) Wow, that's so cool.

AJ, also drunk, walks over to KEVIN and breaks a beer bottle over his head. KEVIN falls on the ground.

 _*Nervous Ooh and Laugh Track*_

AJ: (drunkingly) Sorry, there was a spider.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. - McMAHON MANUFACTURING IND. (OFFICE SPACE)**

AJ nods his head and smirks at KEVIN.

KEVIN: (shocked) You hit me in the head with a beer bottle?

AJ: Yeah.

KEVIN: I don't remember that.

AJ: (chuckles and turns back towards his computer) Exactly.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. - MKV RADIO STATION (BOOTH 64)**

SASHA is seated in front of a microphone with a pair of headphones on.

SASHA: And that has been your morning wake up call; I'm Sasha Banks and all you Bosses stay Legit.

 _*Laugh and Cheer Track*_

The red light above the door shuts off, signaling SASHA is no longer live.

SASHA: (groans) Thank, God.

SHANE, SASHA's boss, enters the booth.

SHANE: Hey, Sasha, great show; People are absolutely loving your solo work.

SASHA: (smiles) Thanks, Shane, I was thinking abo-

SHANE: (interrupting SASHA) I'm giving you a broadcast partner.

 _*Stereotypical "Trouble is brewing" music*_

SASHA: (shocked) Say what now?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SHANE: People love you by yourself, taking calls and shootin' the breeze. But the guys upstairs think you'd perform better with a partner.

SASHA: I have been solo for over a year; No one has complained once.

SHANE: It's out of my hands. And to be honest, I had to choose between talking to you or firing Braun. So I sent an intern in after Braun.

SASHA looks through the window into the next booth where BRAUN is talking to an intern.

SASHA: He seems to be taking it well.

BRAUN suddenly grabs the intern by the shoulders and slams him through his desk.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Never mind.

SHANE: Anyway, she starts tomorrow morning with you. Her name's Carmella.

SASHA: (sighs) Ok, can't wait.

SHANE leaves the booth.

The intern starts to stand up. BRAUN suddenly runs back into the room.

BRAUN: (muffled) I'm not finished with you!

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. - DDP'S GYM (MAIN ROOM)**

BECKY is with a client, helping them stretch out. ENZO, BECKY'S supervisor, walks over to BECKY.

ENZO: Becky, I need to talk to you in the office.

BECKY stops stretching out and nods her head.

ENZO: (to the client) Keep workin' hard; Build muscle, no more sawft.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. - DDP'S GYM (ENZO'S OFFICE)**

BECKY walks in and sits in a chair in front of ENZO's desk. ENZO sits behind his desk.

BECKY: What did you want to talk about?

ENZO: I think me and you should head out on the town this Saturday. I know the guy that owns Murphy's Bar.

BECKY: Enzo, I've told you a million times: I don't want to go out with you, I like girls.

ENZO: What a coincidence: So do I!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I have a girlfriend: Sasha. You've met her a thousand times.

ENZO: What's so special about her? What's she got that I don't?

BECKY: (under her breath) A personality.

ENZO: What?

BECKY: Nothin'.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY leaves the room.

ENZO: I'll change her mind, one day.

DDP enters the office.

DDP: The hell are you doing in my chair?

ENZO jumps out of the seat and hurries out of the office.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*30 second Red Robin commercial*

*30 second action movie hype commercial*

*1 minute trailer of upcoming horror movie "Never Turn Your Back"*

* * *

 **INT. - JEFFERSON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL (KINDERGARTEN CLASSROOM)**

ALEXA is sitting at her desk, texting on her phone. BECKY and SASHA walk into the classroom and look around.

BECKY: (points at ALEXA) I don't believe it.

SASHA: I know; She still has the ePhone S7.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: No, she's really a teacher.

A little boy runs up to BECKY and SASHA.

LITTLE BOY: Are you guys mermaids?

BECKY: (smiles) Yes.

SASHA: No.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY bumps SASHA with her elbow.

The LITTLE BOY runs over to ALEXA.

LITTLE BOY: Miss Bliss, there's two mermaids here! They have orange and purple hair!

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA raises her eyebrows in confusion and glances over at SASHA and BECKY.

ALEXA: Oh, mermaids, sure Jeremy. Go play.

The LITTLE BOY runs off; ALEXA walks up to BECKY and SASHA.

ALEXA: What are you guys doing here?

BECKY: Had to see this first hand. How're you doin'?

ALEXA: I'm fine, just busy keeping these little monsters alive until their parents show up.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: If you hate it so much, why do you do it?

ALEXA: All the single dad's are cute as hell.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (turns to class and points at a student) I gave Avery's dad _extra credit,_ if you know what I mean.

SASHA and BECKY shake their heads in confusion.

ALEXA: We had sex.

BECKY and SASAH: Oh, ok.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Anyway, I can't chat all day. (looks back at the class) Gotta so separate a glitter fight. (fake enthusiasm) Yay!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: (to Sasha) Let's get home. (winks) Maybe give you some extra credit.

 _*Ooh and Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. - AJ'S CAR (FRONT SEAT)**

AJ and KEVIN are stuck in a traffic jam. KEVIN is in the passenger seat, while AJ is driving.

KEVIN: How come Charlotte thinks I'm a dead beat?

AJ: Probably cause you constantly hit on her.

KEVIN: Besides that.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: (shrugs) Maybe it's cause you're still living with us. If you at least pretended to look for another place to live, maybe she'd ease up. She's been all crazy, you know that, talkin' about havin' babies and stuff like that.

KEVIN: Yeah, maybe.

The two stop talking for a few seconds.

KEVIN: Kids? You still hittin' that?

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Kevin's back to normal.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. - BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY and SASHA are sitting on the couch, making out.

 _*Ooh Track*_

SASHA: Would you like more extra credit, Miss Lynch. (takes off shirt)

 _*Ooh Track*_

BECKY: Never thought I'd hear myself say this, but, yes, I would love extra credit.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA leans in to kiss BECKY. SAMI walks through the front door.

SAMI: Hey, guys. (completely oblivious to the situation, sits on couch between SASHA and BECKY)

SASHA: Ok, class dismissed.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: (annoyed) What do you need, Sami?

SAMI: Nothin', just in the neighborhood, saw you were home. (glances at SASHA, who is sitting in her bra) Hey, Sash?

SASHA: Yeah?

SAMI: You wanna put on a shirt?

SASHA rolls her eyes and puts her shirt back on.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: No, wait. (groans in frustration) Boobies.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: (to SASHA) I heard on the radio that you're getting a new co-host.

SASHA: (rolls her eyes) I guess. Her name's Carmella, but I don't think I need a co-host.

BECKY: Neither do I.

SASHA glances at SAMI. SAMI looks at SASHA, over to BECKY, and back to SASHA.

SAMI: What?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: What do you think about me getting a new co-host?

SAMI: Oh, I don't listen to your show.

SASHA: Why?

SAMI: I listen to podcasts on my way to work.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Thanks for trying anyway.

SAMI: No problem.

SASHA raises her hand, about to strike SAMI, but BECKY stops her.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*2 minute preview of new show "Baby, Help Me"*

* * *

 **INT. - BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (BECKY'S ROOM)**

BECKY and SASHA are laying in bed together. SASHA is on her phone, while BECKY is on her laptop.

BECKY: Are you sleeping over tonight?

SASHA: (glances at her watch) It's getting pretty late, I might as well.

BECKY: You could just move in with me.

SASHA: We've only been dating for a year.

BECKY: (in a mocking tone) Only for a year.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: I just wanna take things slow.

BECKY: We had sex on our first date.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: I promise, Beck, I'll think about it.

BECKY: Ok. I'm just saying it'll be easier for you.

SASHA: I know. I just need to think about it.

BECKY nods her head and closes her laptop before setting it on the bedside table.

SASHA: Hey, (starts to take off her shirt) you still want to earn that extra credit?

 _*Ooh Track*_

BECKY's eyes go wide and she quickly nods her head.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (from her room) Please, stop!

* _Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**


	3. S1E3: Think Positive

**INT. - CHARLOTTE AND AJ'S HOUSE** **(LIVING ROOM)**

AJ and KEVIN are sitting in the living room, watching tv.

KEVIN: (glancing at his phone) Why'd your mom send me a friend request on InstaBook?

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: My mom's had a crush on you ever since we started college.

KEVIN: (sets phone down) And you're just telling me this now?

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Cause she's married to my dad.

KEVIN: Mr. DiBiase didn't care, why should I?

 _*Nervous Ooh Track*_

AJ: (glances at the side table) Hey look: a beer bottle.

KEVIN jumps in surprise and moves away from AJ.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE walks into the living room.

CHARLOTTE: (to AJ, in a quiet tone) Hey, babe, can I talk to you?

KEVIN: I'm sorta busy right now, could you come back later?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (chuckles) Nice, Kev. (to AJ) I just need to talk to you. (glances at KEVIN) Privately.

CHARLOTTE leaves the living room.

AJ stands up and begins to leave, but KEVIN stands up and stops him.

AJ: What?

KEVIN: I think this might be something serious.

AJ: Why do you say that?

KEVIN: She laughed at one of my jokes. She never does that.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: It's probably nothing too serious. Maybe it's news about her dad.

KEVIN: (nods his head in agreement) Or maybe she's finally kicking me out.

AJ: Nah, you'll be fine.

AJ leaves the living room.

KEVIN: (sits back down on the couch, glances at his phone) Why, yes, Mrs. Styles, I would love to be your friend.

 _*Laugh Track*_

 **INT. - AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (MASTER BEDROOM)**

CHARLOTTE is nervously pacing around the room. AJ enters the room.

AJ: Hey, baby, what's up?

CHARLOTTE rushes over to AJ and hugs him.

AJ: Is everything ok?

CHARLOTTE pulls back from the hug and nods her head.

CHARLOTTE: I got some awesome news.

KEVIN: (from the hallway) Did Bayley say yes to the three way?

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: (turning towards the door) Kev, what the hell?

KEVIN: (steps into the room) I'm sorry, I wasn't eavesdropping. I was just gonna ask where the remote was.

AJ: I left it on the coffee table.

CHARLOTTE: How does he know about the three way?

KEVIN: Wait, it happened?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE covers her face and sits on the bed.

AJ: Dude, you're being really uncool. (sticks out his fist and bumps fists with KEVIN, whispering) It was so awesome.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (annoyed) I would just like to have _one_ conversation with my husband without his college buddy interrupting.

KEVIN: I've known AJ since kindergarten-

AJ hits KEVIN in the chest with the back of his hand and shakes his head.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Alright, I understand. (starts to leave the room) By the by, I'm searching for apartments today; Just thought you'd like to know.

AJ: Wait, really?

CHARLOTTE: (head still in her hands) Finally.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN leaves the room.

AJ: (sits beside CHARLOTTE) What's the awesome news?

CHARLOTTE takes a deep breath and hands AJ a pregnancy test.

AJ: (glances at the pregnancy test) What's this- (his eyes go wide)

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Pretty awesome, right?

AJ continues staring at the pregnancy test.

KEVIN: (walks back into the room) Alright, Char, whatever you're mad at AJ about is probably my fault. (looks at AJ and the pregnancy test) Ok, maybe not _everything._

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**

* * *

*15 second Hennessy commercial*

*15 second Panda Express commercial*

*30 second local law firm commercial*

*1 minute superhero movie hype commercial*

* * *

 **INT. - MKV RADIO STATION (BOOTH 64)**

SASHA is sitting at her table, reading through her notes. SHANE walks in with CARMELLA.

SHANE: Hey, Sasha, how're you doin' this morning?

SASHA: I'm good. (looks at CARMELLA) You must be Carmella.

SHANE: Yeah; This is Carmella. You and her will be hosting the Wake Up Call now.

SASHA: (nods her head) Awesome.

SHANE leaves the booth.

SASHA: (stands up and walks over to CARMELLA) Hey, I'm Sasha-

CARMELLA: (hugs SASHA) Oh my God, it's really you.

SASHA: What?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CARMELLA: (releasing the hug) I'm sorry. I am such a big fan of yours.

SASHA: (blushing and smiling) Oh, you are, are you?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CARMELLA: Yeah, I've been listening to you every morning for a year. I even have that advent calendar you did.

SASHA: (raises her eyebrows) Wh-what advent calendar?

CARMELLA smirks and giggles.

SASHA: (eyes go wide) Oh my God, you have that?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CARMELLA: I won't tell anyone. It was for charity, right?

SASHA: Yeah, charity. (under breath) Definitely wasn't to help pay rent.

 _*Laugh Track*_

The red light above the door flickers, signaling the show is about to start.

CARMELLA: (squeals in excitement) The show's about to start! I'm so excited!

SASHA: (sits at the table and puts on her headphones) Ok, I'll do the opener, ok? Just follow my lead.

CARMELLA: (sits down and puts on her headphones) Sure, Sasha, let's kick some ass.

SASHA: (shakes her head) Don't swear, they'll get really mad.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Good morning, Boss-Town, it's your girl, Sasha Banks, with another Wake Up Call along with her new co-host! (points at CARMELLA)

CARMELLA: Yo, yo, it's the girl next door, the Princess of Stanton Island, Carmella Van DALE!

 _*Cheer Track*_

SASHA: (excited) Whoa, Carmella, that was awesome.

CARMELLA: Well, yeah, I got to be as hyped as my co-host if I wanna survive on this job.

SASHA: Heck yeah, girl. (the phone starts ringing) We got a caller already, look at that!

CARMELLA: Well answer it and see who it is!

SASHA: (presses a button on the phone) This is the Wake Up Call, what's on your mind caller?

KEVIN: (through the phone) Yeah, long time listener, first time caller. Who's the new girl?; She sounds hot.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Kevin, is that you?

There's a few seconds of silence.

KEVIN: No.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: How about you call back another time? (hangs up the phone)

CARMELLA: He sounded cute.

SASHA gives CARMELLA a confused look.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **EXT. - JEFFERSON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL (FRONT PARKING LOT)**

ALEXA gets out of her car, holding a cup of coffee. She walks for a second, when a car door opens and she walks into it, spilling her coffee.

ALEXA: Aw, son of a bitch.

SETH gets out of the car and hurries over to ALEXA.

SETH: Aw, dammit. I'm so sorry.

ALEXA: No, it's fine. (picks up empty coffee cup) None of it got on me.

SETH: Oh, that's good. (points at ALEXA) Wait, aren't you Miss Bliss?

ALEXA: (nods her head) Yeah, I'm the kindergarten teacher.

SETH: (nods his head) Yeah, my son's in your class. (holds out his right hand) I'm Seth Rollins, Jeremy's dad.

ALEXA: (shakes SETH's hand) Oh, of course. You were the only one that showed up to parent-teacher meeting.

SETH: (chuckles) Yeah, he insisted I go because he said his teacher was friends with mermaids.

 _*Laugh Track*_

JEREMY gets out of the car.

JEREMY: Dad, that's my teacher! She's the one that's friends with mermaids!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: I know, isn't that crazy.

JEREMY: (hugs SETH) Is you or mom picking me up?

SETH: Me.

JEREMY: Ok, bye Dad. See ya later, Miss Bliss.

JEREMY leaves.

ALEXA: He's such a smart kid. You and your wife must be so proud.

SETH: (chuckles) Thank you. But I'm actually divorced.

ALEXA: Oh. (a bit more seductive) Oh.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Anyway, I gotta get to work. Do you maybe wanna get some coffee sometime?

ALEXA: Oh, yeah sure.

SETH: I'll make sure not to spill it on you this time.

ALEXA: (laughing a little too loud) I'll make sure to do that.

SETH gets in his car and leaves.

ALEXA pumps her fist.

ALEXA: (silently) Oh my God!

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*2 minute trailer of upcoming horror movie "Never Turn Your Back"

* * *

 **INT. - BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY and SASHA are sitting on the couch.

SASHA: And then we joked about crappy waiters at that cafe on Twenty-third street.

BECKY: Yeah, baby, I heard the show. And you've told me thirty times.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Oh, she's so awesome, Becky, honestly, I'd date her if I wasn't with you.

BECKY: I'll try to take that as a complement.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA leans over and kisses BECKY. BECKY smiles and kisses SASHA back. SASHA then straddles BECKY and kisses her a little more aggressive.

 _*Ooh Track*_

BECKY: What's gotten into you, lass?

SASHA: (chuckles) I dunno, I'm just super turned on today. (kisses BECKY)

BECKY: Oh my God. Carmella made you horny!

SASHA: (stuttering) That's not true.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ walks through the door.

BECKY: Wow, the one time I'm happy someone barges into my home.

AJ: (sits between BECKY and SASHA) Charlotte's pregnant.

BECKY: So how was your day?

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: I don't know what to do, guys. I'm terrified.

SASHA: How do you think Charlotte feels? She's gotta carry that thing around and give birth and...

AJ and BECKY stare at SASHA in confusion.

SASHA: (noticing BECKY and AJ's looks) Not helping?

AJ and BECKY: No, not really.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: I don't know if I'm ready to be a dad. We've been married for four years, sure, but I still owe my student loans, the car needs to be looked at, Kevin still lives with us.

BECKY: Well, you gotta figure out something soon, dad.

AJ groans and drops his head in his hands.

SASHA: I think you'll make a great dad. I mean worst case scenario-

KEVIN walks into the room.

SASHA: (gesturing at KEVIN) Him.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Best case scenario-

SAMI walks in the room.

BECKY: I mean, you have your moments.

SAMI: What?

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*1 minute NFL commercial*

*30 second Susan G. Comen commercial*

*30 second superhero movie hype commercial*

* * *

 **INT. - BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (BECKY'S ROOM)**

SASHA and BECKY are sitting on the bed watching tv.

BECKY: Is she prettier than me?

SASHA: No.

BECKY: Is her hair nicer than mine?

SASHA: No.

BECKY: Are her boobies bigger than mine?

SASHA: That doesn't matter.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Well, I feel so special.

SASHA: Baby, I promise you there is nothing to worry about.

BECKY: Promise?

SASHA: Of course. Why would you think I'd leave you for another girl?

BECKY: (shrugs) I get insecure sometimes. I see how incredibly sexy you are and I. (she pauses for a second) Worry sometimes.

SASHA: Becky. (kisses BECKY) You have nothing to worry about. I mean that.

BECKY nods her head.

SASHA: _And_ if you must know. (smiles) Yours are way bigger.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY kisses SASHA and laughs.

 _*Aww Track*_

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**


	4. S1E4: The L Word

**INT. - BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)  
**

BECKY and SASHA are sitting on the couch, cuddling and watching tv.

BECKY: How is this show called "American Horror Story?" It's not even scary.

BRCKY glances over at SASHA, who is hiding behind the blanket

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY switches off the tv.

SASHA: (peeks from behind the blanket) Is it over?

BECKY: No, I still have like fifty episodes to watch, but you have to get going; Gotta do the Wake Up Call.

SASHA: (dropping the blanket) Ok.

SASHA curls up closer to BECKY.

SASHA: I think I'll spend the night here.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: (smiles and kisses SASHA on her cheek) You're not scared of a clown are ya?

SASHA: Yes.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I guess you can stay. (exaggerated gasp) It's Twisty!

SASHA screams and jumps into BECKY'S arms.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: (laughing) You are too cute.

ALEXA: (from her room) Guys, please stop!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY kisses SASHA on the cheek.

BECKY: Don't worry, Lass, I'll protect you from all of those scary characters.

SASHA sighs and eases slightly.

SASHA: Thanks, baby.

BECKY holds SASHA tighter and chuckles.

SASHA: I love you.

 _*Aww Track*_

BECKY'S eyes go wide.

BECKY: (jumps off couch) Gotta check my fantasy team!

BECKY runs into her room and slams the door.

SASHA: It's Wednesday!

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**

* * *

*30 second Geico commercial*

*30 second super hero movie hype commercial*

*30 second local law firm commercial*

*15 second Kit Kat commercial*

*15 second Pepperidge Farm commercial*

* * *

 **INT. CHARLOTTE AND AJ'S HOUSE (MASTER BATHROOM)**

CHARLOTTE is sitting beside the bathtub, clutching her stomach with a look of pain on her face.

CHARLOTTE: Babe. stop messing around and get in here.

AJ: (from the bedroom) Are you done?

CHARLOTTE: Ye- (CHARLOTTE covers her mouth and throws up into the toilet)

AJ: (from the bedroom) Is that a no?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (groans in pain) Baby, please.

AJ shuffles into the room holding a tray of food.

CHARLOTTE turns away from the toilet and looks at AJ.

CHARLOTTE: What's all that?

AJ: (sits in front of CHARLOTTE; sets food tray in front of CHARLOTTE) I read online that peanut butter helps with morning sickness. (hands CHARLOTTE a peanut butter sandwich) And the Sprint is supposed to help with the headaches; I even put a little cherry juice in it like you like it. And the strawberry milkshake, because it's your favorite.

 _*Aww Track*_

CHARLOTTE takes a bite of the sandwich.

CHARLOTTE: Is there salami in this?

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Yeah, I saw you making one yesterday; Figured it was the cravings.

CHARLOTTE: (takes another bite and smiles) It's so good.

KEVIN: (from the kitchen) Where's the salami?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE pushes the tray aside and hugs AJ.

CHARLOTTE: I love you so much.

AJ: I love you too, baby.

KEVIN: (from the kitchen) And where the hell is the peanut butter?

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (ALEXA'S ROOM)**

SETH and ALEXA are lying under the covers on ALEXA'S bed, presumably naked.

 _*Ooh Track*_

SETH: This may seem like a weird time to ask, but when does Jeremy need to turn in his permission slip?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Before Friday.

SETH: Good; He talks non-stop about the field trip.

ALEXA: I'm glad he's excited.

SETH: He ta- (SETH'S phone starts to ring)

SETH answers his phone.

SETH: Hi. (SETH sits up and scratches his beard) No, I have him to- (SETH stops talking and sighs) Nikki, listen... No, I'm not with a girl.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Yes, ok? I'm dating Jeremy's teacher; What do you want me to say? You're dating- (SETH sighs) Yeah, I'll drop him off.

SETH hangs up his phone.

ALEXA: Baby mama drama?

SETH: Nailed it.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: I know this is gonna seem weird, but do you wanna ride along to get Jeremy from his mom's? I just hate going over there alone.

ALEXA: Oh, wow. (keeping herself covered, sits up and nervously chuckles)

SETH: I know, we've only been seeing each other a few weeks-

ALEXA: No, no, no, it's not that: It's the meeting your ex-wife part.

SETH: She's a real piece of...

ALEXA picks up a jar labeled "Swear Jar" from the bedside table.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Piece of work.

ALEXA: (puts jar back) I can get that. Is there anything I should know about her?

SETH: Her name's Nikki and she wears way too much makeup.

ALEXA: That doesn't seem too bad.

SETH: And she has breast implants.

ALEXA: Ah, there ya go.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: I'll come with, I guess.

SETH: (smiles and kisses ALEXA) Thanks, Lexi, it means a lot to me.

SETH slides on a pair of jeans and stands up.

ALEXA: So are the implants like melons or...?

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*15 second McDonald's commercial*

*30 second Taco Bell commercial*

*15 second Domino's commercial*

*1 minute commercial about being diagnosed with mesothelioma or some shit*

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY is pacing around the living room.

BAYLEY walks through the front door.

BECKY: I'm so glad you're here.

BAYLEY: What's the problem?

BECKY: (hesitates to speak at first) How've you been?

BAYLEY: I've been fine; Sami still hits on me constantly, but other than that...

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: He doesn't hit on you constantly.

SAMI walks into the room.

SAMI: (glancing down at his phone) Hey, Becky, how do I change my lineup? (notices BAYLEY and drops his phone) BAYLEY!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I need to honestly get an alarm or something.

SAMI: (nervous laugh) Get a gun or something; Scare off people.

BAYLEY: Guns are really dangerous and shouldn't be used as toys.

SAMI: Yeah, Becky, what the hell?

BECKY throws her hands in the air and gives SAMI a confused look.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: S-so Bayley...

BAYLEY turns towards SAMI and crosses her arms.

SAMI: How'd that threesome go with AJ and Charlotte?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY and BECKY: (BAYLEY offended, BECKY shocked) What the hell?

SAMI: (glances at his wrist as if he had a watch on it) Hey, is it ten already? (picks up his phone and runs out the door)

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Good God, what is with that guy?

BECKY: You slept with Charlotte _and_ AJ?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: We are here because you said you had a problem. Besides, there wasn't much sleeping going on.

 _*Ooh and Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Anyway, I have an issue with Sasha.

BAYLEY: What is it?

BECKY: We were watching American Horror Story and she got really scared and jumped on me and said she loved me.

BAYLEY: Which season?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Why does that matter?

BAYLEY: I'm just kidding, Becky. (squeals in delight) Did you tell her you love her? Or did you freak out and check on your fantasy team?

BECKY drops her head.

BAYLEY: Oh, Becky.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I don't know what to do.

BAYLEY: Do you love her?

BECKY: (pauses a moment) Yeah.

BAYLEY: Then what's the problem?

BECKY: I'm afraid she'll eventually... Leave me.

BAYLEY: Are you serious? Becky, Sasha is madly in love with you. She talks about you non stop when we hang out.

BECKY: Really?

BAYLEY: Yes, really. You have absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

SASHA walks into the room.

SASHA: I take it Sami or Kevin was here?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Becky, can I talk to you about last night?

BECKY looks at BAYLEY in concern, then hurries across the room and kisses SASHA.

 _*Ooh Track*_

BECKY: I love you too.

SASHA: (smiles brightly) Really?

BECKY: Of course, baby, I love you so much.

SASHA: I love you too.

BECKY and SASHA kiss again.

 _*Aww Track*_

BAYLEY: (smiles) This is so awesome.

SAMI walks back into the room.

SAMI: (to BAYLEY) What do I gotta do-

BAYLEY: Just stop asking. I'll go out with you if you just stop for two seconds.

SAMI looks around the room, obviously killing time.

BAYLEY: (sighs) Hey, Sami-

SAMI: Saturday, seven o'clock.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **EXT. NIKKI'S HOUSE (FRONT PORCH)**

SETH and ALEXA walk onto the front porch.

SETH: Thanks again, for doing this.

ALEXA: Hey, it's no problem.

SETH raises his hand to knock, but the door opens before he does. NIKKI and RON step onto the front porch.

SETH: Nikki.

NIKKI: Seth.

ALEXA: (staring at NIKKI'S chest) Boobs.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Dad.

RON: Son.

ALEXA: Wait, what?

SETH: Alexa, this is my ex-wife Nicole... And her boyfriend, Ron Rollins... My dad.

 _*Stereotypical "Trouble is brewing" music_

 _"To Be Continued..."_

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**


	5. S1E5: That L Word, Again

**INT. - NIKKI'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

SETH, ALEXA, NIKKI, and RON are sitting around the living room. SETH is sitting beside ALEXA while NIKKI sits alongside RON, NIKKI is glaring at ALEXA, and ALEXA is staring at the ground with a uncomfortable look on her face.

JEREMY: (runs into living room) I'm almost done getting ready, ok? (runs back out of the room)

SETH: Where am I taking him again?

NIKKI: (exaggerated sigh) You're taking him to his friend Jeff's house; He is spending the night.

SETH nods his head and sighs.

ALEXA: Why couldn't you take him?

NIKKI: Um, is _my_ child any of _your_ concern?

ALEXA: When he's in class, yeah.

 _*Laugh Track*_

NIKKI rolls her eyes and scoffs.

RON: Nicole and I have to leave soon for Orlando; We're going on a cruise.

SETH: (annoyed) What about Jeremy? Is he staying here or living with me when you're away? When were you gonna tell me any of this?

NIKKI: Is what I do with _my_ husband any of _your_ concern?

ALEXA: (whispering to SETH) Is that her only comeback?

 _*Laugh Track*_

RON: We would like you to keep Jeremy until we come back in a month. Hopefully, that won't hinder any of your plans.

SETH: Course not, he's my son.

NIKKI: Sure as hell hindered my plans when he showed up.

SETH: I'll make sure to tell him you said that.

 _*Laugh Track*_

NIKKI: Real cute, (glares at ALEXA) just like your new girlfriend.

ALEXA: I don't want any-

SETH: We're barely a couple; We've had sex a few times and gone on one date.

ALEXA crosses her arms and drops her head.

 _*Sad Aww Track*_

NIKKI: Sounds awfully familiar.

SETH: Nikki, we were married for five years.

NIKKI: Says you.

SETH: Says our five year old son. And the state of Iowa.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Hurry up, Jeremy!

 _*Laugh Track*_

JEREMY runs into the room and hugs NIKKI and RON.

JEREMY: Bye, mom. Bye, grandpa.

RON: See ya later champ.

SETH, ALEXA, and JEREMY walk towards the front door.

NIKKI: Have fun with my sloppy seconds.

 _*Nervous Ooh Track*_

ALEXA: (to NIKKI) I already do.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA, SETH, and JEREMY leave the house.

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**

* * *

30 second Geico commercial*

30 second super hero movie hype commercial*

30 second local law firm commercial*

15 second Kit Kat commercial*

15 second Pepperidge Farm commercial*

* * *

 **INT. SETH'S CAR**

SETH is driving with ALEXA in the passenger seat. JEREMY gets out of the car and hurries towards the house they're parked in front of.

SETH: (calling after JEREMY) Have fun, call me if you need anything!

JEREMY turns around and waves at SETH and ALEXA.

SETH: (starts the car, begins to drive away) Where do you wanna go for lunch?

ALEXA: Am I just a booty call?

SETH: I don't think I've heard of that place.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Dude, I'm serious.

SETH: What are you talking about?

ALEXA: You told Nikki we were barely a couple and we only have sex. I don't want to just be a girl you can sleep with a few times and then leave.

SETH: Those aren't my intentions.

ALEXA: Then why'd you tell that to Nikki?

SETH: I don't know, I just wasn't thinking-

ALEXA: Obviously.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Look, Lexi. I like you... A lot.

ALEXA: But?

SETH: But? There's no but. (SETH pauses) I mean, you have a nice one.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (chuckles) I'm serious.

SETH: I honestly want us to be a couple, Alexa, you're awesome.

ALEXA smiles and laughs quietly.

SETH: You're awesome with Jeremy, he loves you, I love y-

SETH stops talking, his eyes go wide in shock. ALEXA's stares at SETH in shock.

SETH: So where's this Booty Call place?

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

KEVIN is watching tv, CHARLOTTE walks in.

CHARLOTTE: Hey, Kev.

KEVIN: (looks at CHARLOTTE in surprise) Holy cow, you said hi to me without following it up with "find an apartment, you bum."

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Blame it on the hormones.

KEVIN: (switches off the tv) Where's AJ?

CHARLOTTE: He ran to pick me up some salami and peanut butter.

KEVIN: (shocked) You've been eating it?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: The baby wants what it wants.

KEVIN: You're only like two weeks pregnant.

CHARLOTTE: How far along are you?

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ enters the house.

AJ: Hey, guys. (walks up to CHARLOTTE and kisses her) What's new?

KEVIN: Charlotte called me fat.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA and SETH are sitting on opposite ends of the couch, both with worried expressions on their faces.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: So how about those Vikings, huh?

ALEXA: I'm a Brown's fan.

SETH: Ah.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (looks nervously at SETH) Are we gonna talk about before?

SETH: I tipped the waitress twenty percent, that was more than fair.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Seth.

SETH: No, I know. (SETH stands up and crosses his arms) I didn't mean to... To freak you out. It just slipped out.

ALEXA: We've been dating for a few weeks, but-

SETH: I was trying to make you feel better cause you were bummed about what I said to Nikki; It was a slip.

ALEXA: (crosses her arms and looks offended) You don't love me?

SETH: What?

ALEXA: I mean, I like you... A lot.

SETH: I don't think you love me.

ALEXA: (shrugs her shoulders) I might.

 _*Aww Track*_

SETH: Really?

ALEXA: (stands up) I like spending time with you, Jeremy is my favorite student and I usually wanna body slam those little monsters.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: And the sex is fantastic. Like, wow.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: I think you and I are a great couple.

ALEXA: Me too.

SETH: I want us to take things one step at a time.

ALEXA: I agree.

SETH: I love you.

ALEXA: I love you.

SETH kisses ALEXA.

 _*Cheer track*_

SASHA walks out into the living room in her underwear.

 _*Ooh Track*_

SASHA: I thought you two were in Alexa's room.

SETH: (to ALEXA) I'm gonna hang out here more.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

15 second McDonald's commercial*

30 second Taco Bell commercial*

15 second Domino's commercial*

1 minute commercial about being diagnosed with mesothelioma or some shit*

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (BECKY'S BEDROOM)**

BECKY and SASHA are laying in bed.

SASHA: And then I lost my phone at the radio station.

BECKY: Was that before or after Seth saw you in your underwear?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Before.

BECKY: Lucky for me I get the whole thing, right?

SASHA smiles and leans in to kiss BECKY. BAYLEY walks into the room.

BAYLEY: Guys, I think I'm in love with Sami. (Sits on the foot of the bed)

BECKY: Well, you ruin moments just like he does.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

AJ shuffles into the living room, groggy from being asleep.

CHARLOTTE: (from the bedroom) Don't forget the Sprint with cherry!

AJ: I won't!

AJ begins to make a salami and peanut butter sandwich.

KEVIN: (from his room) AJ, when you're done, can you get me some chocolate milk?

AJ gives an "are you kidding me" look towards the camera.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Sure thing, sweetie.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**


	6. S1E6: Halloween

**INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA and SETH are sitting on the couch, eating various candies. There are several candy wrappers scattered around them, as well as several soda cans.

SASHA walks into the living room and gasps in surprise.

ALEXA: (To SASHA) Hey, I think we're all out of LNM's and Four Musketeers.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: That candy was for the trick or treaters; What are we supposed to hand out now?

ALEXA: Go to the store and get more.

SASHA: I don't have enough time to go; I have a bunch of errands to run.

SETH: I can go if you want.

ALEXA: (stops SETH from getting up) I wouldn't go.

SETH: Why?

ALEXA: (smirks, whispering) I get super horny when I eat chocolate.

 _*Ooh Track*_

SETH: (stares at ALEXA for a moment before looking back at SASHA) I just remembered my car blew up...

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: I can't go.

SASHA: Well you better figure something out: Halloween is Becky's favorite holiday, and if she finds out you ate all the candy-

BECKY walks into the living room, wearing a policeman's uniform.

BECKY: (in an exaggerated deep voice, to SASHA) Ma'am, I'm afraid the sexy level in this zone is an eight, I caught you going eleven.

 _*Laugh and Ooh Track*_

BECKY: (normal voice, motioning at the garbage) Oh come on, Alexa, pick your trash up. (pauses) Is that the candy for the trick or treaters?

ALEXA: (looks at bowl then throws it across the room) No.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: You are so lucky this costume didn't come with a gun, Lass.

 _*Laugh Track*_

-

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**

-

30 second Geico commercial*

30 second horror movie hype commercial*

30 second local law firm commercial*

15 second UFC hype commercial*

15 second Hidden Valley commercial*

-

 **INT. SAMI AND DANA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

SAMI, dressed as a pirate, is pouring candy into a large plastic bowl. DANA, in regular clothes, is sitting behind him on the couch.

SAMI: You sure you don't want to come out with me and Bayley? It's supposed to be a fun party.

DANA: (shakes her head) Nah, it's fine; I'll just stay home and watch Don't Turn Your Back again.

SAMI: Is that your favorite movie now?

DANA: Yeah, pretty much.

There's a knock on the door. SAMI answers the door. BAYLEY, also dressed as a pirate, enters the living room.

SAMI: Hey, sweetie. (kisses BAYLEY)

 _*Ooh Track*_

DANA: (looks at camera) I'm just as surprised as you are.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Ok, so I'm super excited about the party.

SAMI: I think we'll win the costume contest.

BAYLEY: Definitely.

SAMI: You can still come with, Dana; Your costume is hanging up in your room.

DANA looks at her phone, her eyes go wide and she gets off the couch.

DANA: (panicked) What time is the party? Shouldn't you get going?

SAMI: (glances at his watch) It's at seven and it's only five.

DANA: Be the first ones there, make a great impression.

SAMI: Why are you acting all jumpy?

DANA: Jumpy? Who's acting jumpy?

There's a knock on the door. DANA nearly tackles SAMI, running for the door.

 _*Laugh Track*_

DANA opens the door. FANDANGO enters the apartment, shirtless and holding a pizza box near his groin.

FANDANGO: (in exaggerated deep voice) Did somebody order a big sausage pi- (notices SAMI and BAYLEY, normal voice) Holy hell!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI grabs BAYLEY by the hand and hurries towards the door.

SAMI: We're gonna head out. Nice to see you again, Johnny.

FANDANGO: No, no, it's (exaggerated deep voice) FAN-DAN-GO.

 _*Cheer Track*_

SAMI: (off-screen) No it isn't.

FANDANGO: (normal voice, whiny) Just be cool, man.

 _*Laugh Track*_

-

 **INT. CHARLOTTE AND AJ'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

CHARLOTTE, dressed like Tinker Bell, is handing out candy. AJ, dressed as Peter Pan, is sitting on the couch next to KEVIN, dressed as Donald Trump, who is fast asleep with chocolate on his face.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE shuts the door and sets the candy bowl on a near by table.

CHARLOTTE: (tugging on the bottom of her costume) Are you sure the costume is covering up enough? I feel like it's too revealing.

AJ: (staring at CHARLOTTE's legs, doesn't say anything for a moment before shaking his head and making eye contact with CHARLOTTE) I'm sorry, what?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Babe, I'm serious. Like, I feel like whenever I bend over to get something my ass is just exposed. (drops her phone, turns towards the camera and away from AJ to pick it up) This is like my last chance to wear a sexy costume before I'm a mom.

AJ: (staring at CHARLOTTE's backside) Mmm hmm.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: (snaps awake) What? (looks over at CHARLOTTE, eyes go wide) Oh my God!

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE quickly stands up.

AJ: (elbows KEVIN) Baby, you look amazing. (he stands up and hugs CHARLOTTE) Please put on some underwear before we leave though.

 _*Laugh Track*_

-

15 second McDonald's commercial*

30 second Taco Bell commercial*

15 second Domino's commercial*

1 minute commercial about being diagnosed with mesothelioma or some shit*

-

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

SASHA, dressed as a thug, and BECKY, dressed as a policeman, are helping ALEXA get her costume on. BECKY and SASHA are on the couch with ALEXA sitting on the floor in front of them.

BECKY: (tying ALEXA's hair into pigtails) What are you going as again?

ALEXA: Harely Quinn; Seth loves Batman, so he's dressing up as Joker.

SASHA: Nicholson or Leto?

ALEXA: I think Ledger, actually.

SASHA: As if there was any other choice.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I feel left out.

SASHA: Remember that movie we tried watching last week where you kept telling me it was boring and insisted we have sex instead?

BECKY: (chuckling) Yeah.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Yeah, that was "The Dark Knight." Heath Ledger plays the Joker in that movie.

BECKY: I don't remember a Harley Quinn in that movie.

ALEXA: (mumbling) Probably cause you were knuckle deep in Sasha.

BECKY: What?

ALEXA: Nothing.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Harley Quinn was in "Suicide Squad" with Joker.

BECKY: I remember that movie; Why not have him dress up like that Joker?

ALEXA: (offended) That Joker sucked.

ALEXA stands up and pulls down her crop top.

ALEXA: (in a Boston accent) How do I look, doll face?

SASHA: That looks freakin' awesome.

ALEXA: Not as cool as your thug outfit.

SASHA: Oh, yeah. (to BECKY) How come I have to be the thug and you be the cop?

BECKY: You wouldn't make a believable cop.

SASHA: Why? Cause I'm black?

BECKY: No, you just look better in the tank top and cut offs.

SASHA: (begins to protest but then stops) Yeah, that's true.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH walks into the apartment.

SETH: (in a Joker voice) Who's ready to party?

ALEXA: (smiling, in a Boston accent) I'm ready, puddin'.

SETH: Awesome.

The group starts to leave the apartment.

SETH: (glances at ALEXA and notices a look of worry on her face) What's wrong?

ALEXA: I'm just nervous about meeting new people.

SETH: Really?

ALEXA nods her head.

ALEXA: I don't usually go to parties.

SETH: You moved in with Becky after talking to her for barely an hour.

ALEXA: That's true.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Hey, there's nothing to worry about. Let's go have some fun: Have a few drinks, chat with some good people, (whispering) maybe fool around later.

ALEXA: I dunno.

SETH: I left Jeremy with a sitter.

ALEXA: Let's go party.

 _*Laugh Track*_

-

2 minute trailer for upcoming crime thriller: Hide Me if You Dare

-

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR**

BECKY, SASHA, ALEXA, and CHARLOTTE are sitting at a table. SETH, KEVIN, AJ, and SAMI are all at various spots at the bar.

CHARLOTTE: (to ALEXA) So Becky just let you move in with her without knowing a thing about you?

ALEXA: Yeah, all she knew is that I was a Brown's fan and thought my name was Alex.

CHARLOTTE: (to BECKY) That's crazy; What if she turned out to be a serial killer?

SASHA: Right?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (to ALEXA) It's good you like it here.

ALEXA: Thanks.

BECKY: (to CHARLOTTE) Tell me if I'm intruding, but why aren't you having any liquor tonight, Char?

CHARLOTTE: I haven't told you guys?

The other members shake their heads, say no, etc.

CHARLOTTE: I found out a few weeks ago I'm pregnant.

The other girls act excited.

-

AJ, KEVIN, SAMI, and SETH are talking with each other at the bar, drinking beers.

KEVIN: (to SAMI) Where's Bayley tonight?

SAMI: She's here; She's probably in the bathroom.

KEVIN: You guys have sex yet?

SAMI: We've been going out for like a week.

KEVIN: That's not what I asked.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: I really like her, Kev, I don't wanna mess this one up.

KEVIN: (nods his head) I hope I find that strength one day.

SAMI: Hey, you don't gotta think about that right now. Have a few more beers, get messed up, have fun.

KEVIN: (nods his head a little more enthusiastically) Yeah, ok. (imitating Trump) It's gonna be huge.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: (to AJ) How long have you and Bayley been married?

AJ: I'm married to Charlotte.

SETH: Is she the tall blonde one or the brunette with the big ass?

SAMI: (to SETH) You know I can hear you, right?

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: (chuckles) The tall blonde.

SETH: Really? She's very pretty.

AJ: Thanks dude.

SETH glances back at ALEXA. ALEXA smiles and waves at SETH.

AJ: Alexa just moved here from Cleveland; You should ask her out.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: But, I... Actually, yeah, ok.

SETH leaves the bar and walks over to ALEXA's table.

SETH: Hey, baby. (kisses ALEXA)

AJ's eyes go wide in surprise.

AJ: That was fast.

 _*Laugh Track*_

-

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (WOMEN'S BATHROOM)**

BAYLEY is staring in the mirror, touching up on her make-up. BECKY and SASHA walk in.

SASHA: (slurring, to BAYLEY, in a pirate accent) Aaaaarrrrr, matey, I found me some booty. (slaps BAYLEY on her backside)

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY jumps and turns away from SASHA.

BAYLEY: (to BECKY) How many beers has she had?

BECKY sighs and holds up two fingers.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (slurring) Becky says I'm a lightweight, which I think is slightly racist.

BAYLEY: It's not.

SASHA: Yeah, I know.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY starts to lead SASHA towards the handicap stall.

BECKY: I need to make sure she makes it to the toilet this time.

SASHA: You're being really weird, babe.

BECKY and SASHA enter the handicap stall.

BECKY: (from the stall) Are you gonna go or not?

BAYLEY continues applying her make-up.

BECKY: (from the stall) No, no, my pants stay on.

BAYLEY looks back at the stall in worry, then turns back to the mirror and applies her make-up faster.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: (from the stall, moans) Oh, God, yeah.

BAYLEY yells in fear and runs from the bathroom.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY shuts the bathroom door. ALEXA walks up to the bathroom but BAYLEY stops her.

BAYLEY: Don't go in there.

 _*Laugh Track*_

-

2 Minute preview of upcoming crime thriller Hide Me if You Dare*

-

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR**

MURPHY: (standing behind the bar with a microphone) Alright, everyone, gather around. I have the final tallies for the couples costume contest.

The group of friends and the other bar patrons gather around the bar.

MURPHY: (reading from an index card) In third place is the two gay pirates.

SAMI and BAYLEY jump up and down and hug. SAMI stops celebrating.

SAMI: What kind of pirate?

 _*Laugh Track*_

MURPHY: In second, policewoman and Beyonce.

BECKY: (shrugs her shoulders) Yeah, I'll take it.

SASHA is passed out on the bar.

 _*Laugh Track*_

MURPHY: And the first place prize, which is a fifty dollar gift card for Flor-Mart, is... Joker and Harley Quinn!

SETH and ALEXA hug each other.

ALEXA: (jumping up and down) I can't believe we won!

A couple dressed as Fred and Wilma walk by.

ALEXA: (overly aggressive, to the couple) Suck it, nerds.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: (glances at his watch) Jeez, it's almost two; I gotta go home and let the babysitter leave.

ALEXA: Ok, I'm ready when you are.

AJ and CHARLOTTE are standing near the bar.

AJ: Better luck next year?

CHARLOTTE: (crosses arms and shrugs her shoulders) I guess.

AJ: Hey, (kisses CHARLOTTE on the cheek) I'm the real winner here, no matter what.

 _*Aww Track*_

CHARLOTTE: You're a dork... Sadly that'll get you laid tonight.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ and CHARLOTTE say goodbye to everyone before leaving.

BECKY throws one of SASHA's arms over her shoulder and helps her out the door. SAMI and BAYLEY follow them, as do SETH and ALEXA.

KEVIN is still sitting at the bar, picking at the label on his bottle.

MURPHY: (walks over to KEVIN's spot) Hey, we're closing pretty soon.

KEVIN: (nods his head) I know.

MURPHY: (sighs) I know, man, I miss her too.

KEVIN covers his face as he begins to cry. MURPHY reaches across the bar and pats KEVIN on the shoulder.

KEVIN: This is why I hate Halloween.

MURPHY: Me too, Kev.

-

15 second Hanes commercial*

30 second NFL commercial*

30 second Gold Bond commercial*

30 second General Insurance commercial*

15 second commercial with that guy that says Crack-Cocaine really weird*

-

 **INT. SETH'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA is lying on the couch, propped on her elbow. SETH enters the living room.

SETH: Jeremy is asleep, which means I can finally relax.

ALEXA: (in a Boston accent) Does that mean papa's got time to rev up his Harley?

 _*Ooh Track*_

SETH: (Joker voice) Let's put a smile on your face.

 _*Laugh Track*_

-

 **INT. SAMI AND DANA'S APARTMENT (SAMI'S ROOM)**

SAMI is laying in bed. DANA knocks then opens the door.

DANA: Hey, sorry about before with Johnny; He can be kinda crazy.

SAMI: It's fine.

DANA: How'd it go with Bayley? Obviously not too good, or she'd be here, right?

SAMI: Yeah.

DANA: Night, Sami.

DANA shuts the door. The blankets on SAMI's bed shifts and BAYLEY pokes her head out from under them.

BAYLEY: Do you want me to keep going?

SAMI: Yeah.

BAYLEY nods her head and moves back under the covers.

 _*Laugh Track*_

-

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (BECKY'S ROOM)**

BECKY and SASHA are cuddling in bed.

SASHA: (groggy) Are you sure you don't wanna do anything?

BECKY: We already did, sweetheart.

SASHA: (chuckles) Oh, yeah.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I don't know why I put up with you.

SASHA: Cause you love me.

BECKY: That's true. (kisses SASHA on her shoulder) I love you, Lass.

SASHA: Love you too.

-

 **EXT. CEMETERY**

KEVIN and MURPHY are standing in front of a headstone. KEVIN kneels down and places flowers near the headstone.

MURPHY: Five years ago.

KEVIN: (stands up, nods his head) Yeah.

MURPHY: I know she misses you too, man.

KEVIN: Thanks.

Camera pans away from KEVIN and MURPHY towards the headstone. "Here Lies Juliet Murphy: Beloved sister, wife, and friend" is etched on the front.

-

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**


	7. S1E7: Surprises (season 1 finale)

**INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY, SASHA, and ALEXA are watching a football game. ALEXA is wearing a Cleveland Browns jersey, SASHA a New England Patriots jersey, while BECKY is wearing a normal shirt.

SASHA: Come on, come on, fourth and two, you better freaking get this.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Come on, fourth and two, you better freaking stop them.

 _*Laugh Track*_

TV ANNOUNCER: Touchdown Patriots!

SASHA jumps up and cheers, ALEXA yells in anger at the tv, and BECKY doesn't respond at all.

SASHA: Yeah, (gets in ALEXA's face) Suck it, Bliss!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Wait, I'm confused. I thought the guy saying hut is supposed to run the football.

ALEXA: The guy saying hut?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (sitting back down on the couch) No, baby, that's the quarterback, he's supposed to get the ball into the end zone.

BECKY: I know, but why can't he just run it in himself?

SASHA: He can, but he threw it to the receiver this time.

BECKY: Which one is the receiver?

SASHA: Usually me.

 _*Laugh and Ooh Track*_

ALEXA: Can you just not for one day?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: The receiver is the guy towards the sideline; He's supposed to catch the ball.

BECKY: But the receiver keeps dropping it on Alexa's team.

SASHA turns and smirks at ALEXA, who is glaring back.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Why are they kicking off?

SASHA: They just scored.

ALEXA: (to BECKY, annoyed) How are you a personal trainer?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I'm from Ireland, I'm a football fan.

SASHA: (to ALEXA) She means soccer.

ALEXA: (annoyed, yelling) I know!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (to BECKY, whispering) She's just mad cause the Browns suck.

ALEXA: I can hear you!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH walks into the apartment wearing a Minnesota Vikings jersey.

ALEXA: (looks at SETH) If we weren't dating, I'd shoot you for wearing that jersey.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Good to see you too, babe. (sits beside ALEXA and wraps an arm around her.)

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY stands up and walks towards the kitchen.

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (KITCHEN)**

BECKY opens the fridge and takes out a can of soda. SASHA enters the kitchen.

SASHA: Hey, baby.

BECKY: Hi.

SASHA: How are you liking the game?

BECKY: I have no idea what's going on.

SASHA: Neither does DeShone Kizer.

ALEXA: (from the living room) Screw you!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: See I don't know who that is.

SASHA: The quarterback for the Browns.

BECKY nods her head.

SASHA: So...

BECKY: Uh oh, Sasha has a serious question.

SASHA: How do you know that?

BECKY: Whenever you have a serious question, you start it out with "So..."

SASHA: I do not.

BECKY: Yeah you do; Remember the first time you asked me out?

* * *

 **INT. DDP'S GYM**

ONE YEAR AGO appears across the screen. BECKY is helping SASHA stretch out.

BECKY: Ok, bend down and touch your toes.

SASHA bends over to touch her toes. BECKY's eyes go wide.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (still bent over) Hey, Becky?

BECKY: Yeah?

SASHA: I can see you.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA stands up straight and faces BECKY.

SASHA: Like what you see?

BECKY: I would say no, but I don't like lying.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: You wouldn't want your boyfriend to see you hitting on me, right?

BECKY: Boyfriend?

SASHA: (points at ENZO) Yeah, that guy with the weird hair and tattoos.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Oh God, no, no, no, no... No, no, no.

SASHA: One more and I'll believe you.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: (chuckles) No, he's not my boyfriend; I'm actually not into guys... Like at all.

SASHA: Really?

BECKY chuckles nervously and nods her head.

SASHA: So... Do you maybe wanna get some coffee after this?

BECKY: I don't usually drink coffee.

SASHA: Me neither.

BECKY: Then what did you me- (realizing what SASHA means) Oh.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (KITCHEN)**

BECKY: Oh yeah, we didn't have sex _after_ our first date: Sex _was_ our first date.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: So...

BECKY: Oh boy.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: About that whole moving in thing.

BECKY: You don't have to move in with me; It was just a way to make things easi-

SASHA: I wanna move in with you.

BECKY yells in excitement and hugs SASHA.

 _*Laugh and Cheer track*_

BECKY: I love you so much.

SASHA: I love you too.

SASHA and BECKY: You can move your stuff into my apartment.

 _*Stereotypical Trouble is Brewing music*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (KITCHEN)**

BECKY: I meant moving in _here_ when I said that.

SASHA: My apartment is perfectly fine though. You can move right in.

BECKY: What about Alexa?

SASHA: She can move in with Seth.

BECKY: They just started dating.

SASHA: I don't wanna move out of my apartment.

BECKY: Baby...

SASHA: Have you ever been to my apartment?

BECKY: (thinks for a moment) I guess not.

SASHA: At least come look at it; See if you like it.

BECKY nods her head and hugs SASHA.

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

AJ and CHARLOTTE are sitting on the couch.

KEVIN: (walks in through the front door, acts surprised when he sees CHARLOTTE and AJ) Oh, hey, guys.

CHARLOTTE: What are you up to, Kevin?

KEVIN: N-nothing, why would you think-

A dog starts barking from behind the door.

KEVIN: I may have made a decision today...

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: That involves everyone.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (trying her best not to yell) Kevin, I swear to God, if you got a dog...

A yellow labrador pup runs past KEVIN, jumps on the couch, and starts licking CHARLOTTE.

CHARLOTTE: (excitedly) Who is this little devil?

CHARLOTTE scratches the dog's back while it continues licking her.

KEVIN: I drove past this house today that was selling them; He was the only yellow lab in a batch of chocolates, I figured he had to be special.

CHARLOTTE: What's his name?

KEVIN: They didn't have names yet.

CHARLOTTE: How about Owen: Cause he's slobbery, messy, and lives here for free?

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Uh, I pay for cable and my share of rent.

AJ: That explains why the football game is solid black.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: I'll call right now; I gotta go buy dog food and a leash and a bunch of other stuff anyway.

CHARLOTTE: (still petting OWEN, happily) Hey, Kev?

KEVIN: (opens the door) Yeah?

CHARLOTTE: (happily) If he pees on the carpet I'll smother you in your sleep.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Love you too, Char.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN leaves the house.

CHARLOTTE: (to AJ) I gotta take a shower, ok? (gets off the couch and leaves the living room)

AJ: I'll be there in a sec!

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: (looks at OWEN) What's up?

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: What do you do for fun?

 _*Laugh Track*_

OWEN lies down on the couch.

AJ: I'm talking to a dog.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*30 second Arby's commercial*

*30 second McDonald's commercial*

*30 second super hero movie hype commercial*

*30 second trailer for upcoming crime thriller: Hide Me, If You Dare*

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA unlocks the door and enters the apartment.

ALEXA: Becky?

ALEXA shrugs her shoulders.

ALEXA: Guess no one can tell me not to watch Suicide Squad in my underwear.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA walks into her room and shuts the door.

BECKY enters the apartment with SASHA and BAYLEY.

BECKY: I just think that movie wasn't that interesting.

SASHA and BAYLEY gasp in shock.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Guardians of the Galaxy Volume Two is a fantastic edition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: You nerding out isn't going to change my mind.

BAYLEY: Ok, fine, whatever. (mumbling) Buzzkill.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA walks out of her room in an over sized t-shirt and underwear.

ALEXA: (surprised) Oh, hey...

BECKY, BAYLEY, and SASHA turn around.

SASHA: Gonna watch Suicide Squad?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: ...Yeah.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Well, I was gonna head over to Sasha's for the first time; Bayley, you wanna come with?

BAYLEY: No, I'll stay here, that's fine.

BECKY nods her head and leaves with SASHA.

BAYLEY: (turns towards ALEXA and nods her head) Nice underwear.

ALEXA stares at BAYLEY in surprise.

 _*Laugh Track_ _*_

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (MASTER BEDROOM)**

AJ is laying in bed with OWEN curled up beside him.

CHARLOTTE walks into the bedroom in some lingerie.

 _*Ooh Track*_

AJ: (to OWEN) Sorry, buddy, you gotta go.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (crawling into bed) Did you remember to call the landlord about the mold in the basement?

AJ: Whoa, you really know how to turn a guy on.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE rolls her eyes and kisses AJ. OWEN walks into the doorway.

CHARLOTTE: (stops kissing AJ and looks over at OWEN) Babe? I don't feel comfortable with him watching.

AJ: Kevin isn't here.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: The dog!

AJ: Oh, Owen, go get Kevin.

OWEN leaves the room.

CHARLOTTE: How did you do that?

AJ: Wait.

KEVIN: (from his bedroom) Whoever taught this dog to bring me beer is my new best friend!

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: He learned that in one day?

AJ: I used to train my brother's dogs; I'm a natural, I guess.

CHARLOTTE smiles and kisses AJ.

KEVIN: (from his room) Cheese Puffs too?!

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*2 minute preview of upcoming series: Love, Sex, and Other Things I Don't Understand*

* * *

INT. **SASHA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

SASHA unlocks the door and steps inside with BECKY.

BECKY: (looking around the living room) It's nice, Sash, it looks a lot like mine. Maybe I could spend the night here tonight.

SASHA: Yeah, that sounds nice.

BECKY: (chuckles) That counter reminds me of mine. The one where we... Ya know.

BECKY turns around; SASHA is kneeling on one knee.

 _*Excited Ooh Track*_

BECKY: Wh-what are y-you doing?

SASHA: (smiling) There's a big, big reason why I want you to move in with me.

SASHA reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a small black box.

BECKY: (starting to tear up) Oh my God, what are you doing?

SASHA: We don't have to move in together here, just as long as I have you.

 _*Aww Track*_

SASHA: (opening the box) Rebecca Lynch, I love you to death. Being with you all the time is the only thing that makes me happy.

BECKY: And when the Patriots win.

SASHA: That too.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Will you marry me?

BECKY: (yells in excitement and tackles SASHA) Yes! Yes! Of course.

SASHA sits up and kisses BECKY.

 _*Cheer Track*_

BECKY: It doesn't matter which apartment we decide on; I just want you.

SASHA: (kisses BECKY again) I love you so much.

BECKY: I can't believe that a few weeks ago I freaked out when you told me you loved me-

SASHA: You what?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: But that doesn't matter anymore; We're getting married!

SASHA laughs and slides the ring on BECKY's finger.

BECKY: Oh my God; It feels like yesterday you came into the gym wanting to work on your core and cardio.

SASHA: Can I be totally honest?

BECKY nods her head.

SASHA: I only joined the gym cause I thought you were cute.

BECKY: You are such a girl.

SASHA: Well, I hope so or this last year and a half would've been really weird.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BAYLEY and ALEXA are sitting on the couch, watching a movie.

BAYLEY: But, like, sometimes I don't even like wearing a bra, ya know?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (uncomfortably) Yeah, cool.

BAYLEY: So...

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: How drunk do I gotta get you before that Iron Man shirt comes off?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Look, I'm straight and I have a boyfriend.

BAYLEY: Yeah, me too.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: I'm just a compulsive flirter.

ALEXA: What?

BAYLEY: I just like flirting with people, ok? Calm down, I don't actually want to sleep with you.

ALEXA: Alright, cool.

BAYLEY: You wanna share a bowl of popcorn? Some soda? Maybe a bed?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: How about you just try to act normal.

BAYLEY: How about you sit on my lap?

ALEXA: Bayley!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI walks into the apartment.

BAYLEY: Dang, son, how big are you?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: (to ALEXA) So I see you met my girlfriend.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: Wait, Bayley did you go out with Becky and Sasha tonight?

BAYLEY: Yeah.

SAMI: Yeah, that explains it. Becky likes to get Bayley drunk because she thinks it's funny when Bayley starts hitting on everyone.

ALEXA: (sarcastically) Great.

SAMI: You ready to go home, babe?

BAYLEY: You wanna get a _head_ start?

 _*Ooh and Laugh Track*_

SAMI: ... Yes.

BAYLEY gets up and leaves with SAMI.

ALEXA sighs.

ALEXA: (smiles) I hate how much I love these people.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**


	8. S2E1: Breakfast

**INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (BECKY'S ROOM)**

BECKY rolls over in bed and shuts the alarm off her phone.

BECKY: (yawning) Sash?

SASHA groans and rolls over.

BECKY: Babe, you gotta get up.

SASHA groans again.

BECKY: If you hurry, we can make out.

SASHA: (quickly sitting up) I'm up!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY chuckles and kisses SASHA on the cheek.

BECKY: You have to be at the station in two hours; Hurry up and get showered.

SASHA: Ok, just let me run to my apartment.

BECKY: (smiling) Good thing you're already here.

SASHA: (sarcastically) Oh yeah. I almost forgot I moved in.

BECKY kisses SASHA then gets out of bed.

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY walks into the living room. She pauses when she notices a cereal box laying in the middle of the floor.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Alexa!

ALEXA pokes her head out from her bedroom.

ALEXA: Hi.

BECKY turns around.

BECKY: Why is there a cereal box in the middle of the floor?

ALEXA walks out into the living room.

ALEXA: I must've dropped it on the way.

BECKY: What are you talking about?

ALEXA: Me and Seth got hungry last night.

BECKY: What were you doing?

ALEXA: (pauses for a few seconds) Long division.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I don't care if you guys have sex; Just please pick up after yourself.

ALEXA: Cool.

SASHA: (from the bathroom) Why is there pudding cups in here?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (chuckles nervously) We got messy eating cereal and cheese puffs.

SASHA: (from the bathroom) Where is all my body wash?

BECKY crosses her arms and tilts her head at ALEXA.

ALEXA: It's strawberry scent.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: And it makes a great lubricant.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: (pinches the bridge of her nose with her fingers and sighs) You've been living here for over seven months; When will you get that you need to clean up after yourself?

ALEXA: Alright, relax. I'll try better, ok?

BECKY: Fine.

SASHA: (from the bathroom) Becky, I'm naked.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: (to SASHA) Alexa can hear you.

SASHA: (from the bathroom) Tell her I'll stop when she stops using my body wash as lube.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**

* * *

 **INT. CHARLOTTE AND AJ'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

KEVIN, OWEN, and AJ are on the couch. OWEN is laying between AJ and KEVIN.

KEVIN: Hey, AJ, can you get me a beer?

AJ: Sure. (looks at OWEN) Go get Kevin.

OWEN gets off the couch and walks into the kitchen. The sound of the fridge opening and closing can be heard. OWEN then returns with a six pack of beer in his mouth.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: (taking the six pack from OWEN) Good boy.

OWEN jumps back on the couch and puts his head in AJ's lap.

KEVIN: What does he do when you say your name?

AJ: He'll get the remote.

KEVIN: What about Charlotte?

AJ: Uh... (yelling) Babe, are you in the shower?

CHARLOTTE: (from the bathroom) Just got out.

AJ: (regular voice, to OWEN) Go get Charlotte.

OWEN jumps off the couch and walks off screen.

KEVIN: What's he doing?

AJ: Listen.

After a few seconds, CHARLOTTE yells in surprise. OWEN walks back into the room with a towel in his mouth.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: (looks at KEVIN) He does that.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE walks in, wrapped in her bathrobe, seven months pregnant.

CHARLOTTE: Not funny, AJ.

AJ: (takes the towel from OWEN and hands it back to CHARLOTTE) I think it's funny.

KEVIN: Same.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (drying her hair, sits on the couch next to AJ) Little AJ's been kicking like crazy today. (looks at KEVIN, groans in disgust) It's seven in the morning and you're drinking already?

KEVIN: (opens a can of beer) It's Saturday.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE rolls her eyes.

CHARLOTTE: (to AJ) What have you got planned today?

AJ: (shrugs) Nothing special.

CHARLOTTE raises her eyebrows at AJ.

AJ: (looks at CHARLOTTE, confused at first then his eyes widen) Except taking my (taking CHARLOTTE's hand) beautiful, sexy, pregnant wife out to dinner.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: You're lucky, AJ.

KEVIN: What's the occasion?

CHARLOTTE: Today is the six year anniversary that me and AJ started dating. (looks at AJ) He asked me to dinner after a football game, and I haven't regretted saying yes since.

AJ smiles and kisses CHARLOTTE.

KEVIN: (to OWEN) You never get used to it.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (getting off the couch) So, I'm going to spend the rest of my morning trying to pick out something that is both sexy and pregnanty.

KEVIN: Just go naked.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE and AJ look at KEVIN in confusion. KEVIN looks at the expression on their faces.

KEVIN: C'mon, knowing me for eight years (points at AJ) you for almost twenty five, and you're still surprised?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Fair enough.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE leaves the living room.

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA is sitting on the couch, watching tv. BAYLEY and SAMI enter the apartment.

ALEXA: (eyes widen in fear, nervously) H-hey, Bayley.

BAYLEY: (completely oblivious) Hey, Lex, is Becky and Sasha ready?

ALEXA: For what?

SAMI: We're all going to breakfast together; They didn't invite you and Seth?

ALEXA: (shaking her head and getting off the couch) No, they hadn't mentioned it.

BECKY and SASHA enter the living room.

ALEXA: (to BECKY) How come I wasn't invited to breakfast?

SASHA: Uh, Becky?

BECKY does a double check at SASHA then glares at her.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: B-because we already invited AJ and Charlotte.

ALEXA: (crosses her arms) Why aren't I invited?

SASHA: Well...

SASHA gives BECKY a worried look.

SASHA: Because you can be... Mean to the staff sometimes.

ALEXA: What? When was I mean?

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)**

ALEXA and SETH are sitting next to each other. On the other side of the table, BECKY and SASHA are sitting beside each other.

A waitress sets everyone's food in front off them. ALEXA takes a bite of her burger, then recoils in disgust.

SASHA: (to ALEXA) What's wrong?

ALEXA: I don't wanna make a big scene, but my burger is way under cooked.

SASHA: That's fine, just tell Summer when she gets back.

ALEXA nods her head. After a few seconds, SUMMER returns to the table.

SUMMER: I forgot your straws, (sets straws on the table) How is everything?

SASHA: Alexa had an iss-

ALEXA: (angrily) Yeah, bitch, I have an issue with my raw as hell burger.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA, BECKY, and SETH stare at ALEXA in shock.

SUMMER: (confused) Uh, if-if there's an issue, I can have Wesley remake it.

ALEXA: Yeah, there's a freaking issue (hands SUMMER her plate) And don't expect a good tip, bitch.

SETH: (quietly, to ALEXA) Babe, I think you need-

ALEXA: (slams her hand into the table, to SETH) What?

SETH: Nothing, I love you.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA: That was a long time ago.

BECKY: It was last night.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Why do we dwell on the past so much?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: I promise I'll be on my best behavior.

BECKY: (groans and rolls her eyes) Fine, call Seth and tell him.

ALEXA squeals in excitement and pulls out her phone; She puts it to her ear. The faint sound of ringing can be heard.

SETH: (walking out of ALEXA's room, holding his ringing phone) What?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: How long have you been here?

SETH: Since we came home from the diner.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Put a shirt on, we're getting breakfast with everyone.

SETH's eyes go wide.

SETH: Yeah, ok.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY, SASHA, and BECKY leave the apartment. SAMI turns and looks at SETH.

SAMI: You good?

SETH: (beginning to cry) Last night... Alexa... Was.. The man.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: Oh my God.

SAMI crosses the living room and hugs SETH.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*30 second Xbox commercial*

*30 second PlayStation commercial*

*30 second Nintendo commercial*

*30 second commercial for latest Call of Duty installment*

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (BAR AREA)**

SUMMER is sitting at the bar, crying, while MURPHY tries to comfort her.

SUMMER: I just don't think I can work here anymore.

MURPHY: It was just one bad customer, it's not the end of the world.

SUMMER: You don't get it, Buddy, she was evil.

MURPHY: Just let Wesley make you something to eat, let you clear your mind.

SUMMER nods her head and takes a drink from her cup of water. KEVIN walks up to the bar and sits beside SUMMER.

KEVIN: Mornin'.

MURPHY: We open at noon.

KEVIN: I know, can I get a Bepis?

MURPHY: Sure.

 _*A few chuckles and giggles from audience*_

MURPHY turns away from the bar. KEVIN looks at SUMMER, who has calmed down slightly.

KEVIN: You ok, Summer?

SUMMER: (shakes her head) No, this one girl last night was the absolute worst.

KEVIN: Short girl with pink highlights?

SUMMER nods her head.

KEVIN: That's Alexa, she's... (checking over his shoulder) Different.

SUMMER: What are you doing?

KEVIN: Making sure she isn't here.

 _*Laugh Track*_

MURPHY turns back towards the bar and sets a glass of soda in front of KEVIN.

MURPHY: She's nice, but she can be difficult.

KEVIN: That's not the worst part. I heard she was the man last night.

MURPHY: (eyes go wide in shock) No.

 _*Laugh Track*_

MURPHY: Poor Seth.

SUMMER: What does that mean?

KEVIN leans over and whispers in SUMMER's ear. After a few moments, she gasps and covers her mouth.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Oh, yeah.

 _*Laugh Track*_

MURPHY: (to SUMMER) I'll make sure Wesley gets your order.

MURPHY walks away from the bar.

SUMMER: I didn't know girls could do that.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. BRYAN'S DINER (TABLE 36)**

ALEXA, SETH, CHARLOTTE, AJ, SAMI, BAYLEY, SASHA, and BECKY are sitting at a table. A waitress finishes taking their drink orders.

ALEXA: So far, so good, right?

SASHA: It's still early.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Oh, hush.

The group continues talking among each other.

SASHA: (to BECKY) You look beautiful today.

BECKY: Aww, thanks baby; You look great too.

SASHA smiles and holds BECKY's hand.

AJ: (to CHARLOTTE) How's the baby doing?

CHARLOTTE: (rubbing her stomach and smiling) He's hungry.

The waitress returns with the drinks. Everyone turns their attention to ALEXA.

ALEXA: (to the waitress) Excuse me.

Everyone gasps in anticipation.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Could a get a little lemon for my water? Thank you so much.

ALEXA takes a sip of her orange juice, then notices everyone's worried expressions.

ALEXA: What?

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (BAR AREA)**

SUMMER is eating a basket of french fries, while KEVIN is watching a college football game with MURPHY, who is on the inside of the bar.

MURPHY: I never understood American football.

KEVIN: You never really do.

MURPHY shrugs his shoulders and continues cleaning glasses.

KEVIN takes a fry from SUMMER.

SUMMER: Dude!

KEVIN: You'll live.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: You're lucky I like you... Dick.

 _*Laugh Track*_

MURPHY: (to KEVIN) You want me to tell Wesley to make you something?

KEVIN: Some wings would be awesome.

MURPHY nods his head and walks off screen.

SUMMER: You don't think I'm a bitch, right?

KEVIN: Only when you forget my Bepis.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: Kev, I'm serious.

KEVIN: No, you're a pretty cool person. You're the only waitress in this city that laughs at my jokes, so that's a big plus.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER smiles and continues eating her fries.

MURPHY returns and hands KEVIN a note.

MURPHY: Wesley's making your wings, but he said to give you this.

KEVIN reads the note.

KEVIN: Tell him he spelled "intercourse" and "macaroni" wrong.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. BRYAN'S DINER (TABLE 36)**

Everyone is busy eating their breakfast. BAYLEY shyly smiles at SAMI. SAMI takes a bite of his eggs and glances up at BAYLEY.

SAMI: What?

BAYLEY: This place is number six.

SAMI: On what?

BAYLEY: My list.

SAMI drops his fork and nearly chokes on his eggs.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: (clears his throat and stands up) Excuse me, everyone.

SAMI leaves the table. After a few moments, BAYLEY stands up.

BAYLEY: Be right back.

BAYLEY leaves.

SETH: (to ALEXA) How are your pancakes?

ALEXA: They're amazing; Who's the cook here?

SETH: Daniel Bryan, he owns the place too.

ALEXA: I gotta tell the waitress to send my thanks. (to a nearby waitress) Excuse me, ma'am?

BRIE turns around.

BRIE: Can I help you?

ALEXA: Oh dear God.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Oh, no, no, babe, that's Brie: Nikki's sister.

ALEXA furrows her eyebrows in confusion.

BRIE: I'm Nikki's twin sister, (points at name tag) Brianna.

ALEXA: Oh, thank goodness. Your sister isn't my biggest fan right now.

BRIE: (chuckles) Yeah, she can be. What did you need?

ALEXA: I just wanted to tell Daniel how much I love the food, can you tell him for me?

BRIE: Of course. Just so you know, I came up with the recipe.

ALEXA: Oh, are you friends with Daniel?

BRIE: I would hope so, we've been married for two years.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (chuckles) Right.

BRIE: Anyway, I gotta get going. It was nice meeting you, and good to see you again, Seth.

BRIE walks away.

ALEXA: She's nice.

SETH nods his head in agreement.

SAMI and BAYLEY return to the table.

BECKY: Your shirt's inside out, Sami.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*2 minute preview of upcoming series Want You To Want Me*

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (BAR AREA)**

KEVIN and SUMMER are talking back and forth, laughing occasionally.

SUMMER: What happened after that?

KEVIN: AJ started the car and sped off down the road. I, being scared out of my mind, started running and screaming after him.

SUMMER: Jesus, that must've been terrifying.

KEVIN: Oh yeah, that's the last time I ever go to Zumba.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER's watch starts to beep.

SUMMER: Shoot, gotta start counting the register.

KEVIN: I'm not going anywhere.

SUMMER smiles and gets off her seat and walks off screen.

MURPHY walks into the frame and smirks at KEVIN.

KEVIN: What?

MURPHY: Kev, she's totally into you.

KEVIN: (shakes his head) No, c'mon man.

MURPHY: I'm serious, when's the last time someone as hot as her actually laughed at your jokes?

KEVIN: Five years ago.

MURPHY: (sighs) Ya know, one day you're gonna have to move on.

KEVIN: Easier said than done.

MURPHY: That's true; But, I'm just saying, man.

KEVIN shakes his head.

KEVIN: I'm good.

MURPHY nods his head and goes back to cleaning off glasses.

KEVIN looks over at SUMMER. SUMMER looks up from counting cash and smiles at KEVIN. KEVIN nods his head at SUMMER, then turns his attention back to the tv.

* * *

 **INT. BRYAN'S DINER (TABLE 36)**

A waitress hands SETH the check. SETH takes out his wallet and begins taking out his credit card.

AJ: Hold on, Seth, I can cover it.

SETH: Nah, I'm good.

AJ: At least let me tip.

SETH: Dude, chill.

AJ: (to SAMI) We should help, right?

SAMI: I'm good.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH places his card in the checkbook.

ALEXA: Wait, there's Brie.

NIKKI turns around.

ALEXA: You're not Brie.

NIKKI: Good observation.

 _*Stereotypical "Trouble is Brewing" music*_

ALEXA: I didn't know you worked here.

NIKKI: (sarcastically) Wow, did you figure that out all by yourself?

SETH: Can you just take the check please?

NIKKI: Um, does it look like a serve you?

SETH: Uh...

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Yeah.

BRIE walks up to the table.

BRIE: I'll go run your card. (takes the checkbook and turns towards NIKKI) Stop being a jerk.

NIKKI: You stop being a jerk.

NIKKI turns her attention back to ALEXA.

NIKKI: So how was your breakfast, harlot?

 _*Nervous Ooh Track*_

ALEXA: Really, really, good. Just like your ex-husband's oral game.

SETH spits out his water.

 _*Laugh Track*_

NIKKI: Whatever, at least I'm not sleeping with someone's sloppy seconds.

ALEXA: Technically your taking his mom's.

SETH: Could we not talk about my parents having sex?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Is there a problem?

NIKKI: What's it to you, dyke?

BECKY: (getting up from her seat) You wanna die, bitch?

SAMI jumps up and holds BECKY back. BRIE returns with the checkbook and hands SETH his card.

BRIE: (looks at BECKY and ALEXA) Jesus, Nikki, what the hell did you do now?

BECKY: She called me a dyke.

ALEXA: I think it's best if we just leave.

The group of friends starts to leave.

NIKKI: Have fun at the slut convention. And Seth, sweetie, I'll be over to pick up the rest of Jeremy's things later.

ALEXA: (to SETH) What's she talking about?

SETH: I just... Not here, ok?

NIKKI: Got something to say?

ALEXA gives NIKKI a dirty look. BAYLEY suddenly steps in front of her and punches NIKKI, who falls back into a table behind her.

 _*Woo and Cheer track*_

BAYLEY: I don't like bullies.

The group starts leaving the diner.

ALEXA: Thank you, Bayley.

BAYLEY: Just helping a friend.

ALEXA smiles and the group leaves the diner.

* * *

*2 minute preview of upcoming movie Fallen Angel, Rising Demon*

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

SASHA, BECKY, ALEXA, and SETH enter the apartment. SASHA and BECKY enter BECKY's room.

ALEXA: You ok?

SETH: I was about to ask you the same.

ALEXA: I'm fine. What did Nikki mean back there?

SETH sighs and shakes his head.

SETH: I uh... (takes a deep breath, starting to cry) I lost custody of Jeremy.

ALEXA: What?

SETH: The hearing was a few months ago; It was finalized yesterday.

ALEXA: Baby, (hugs SETH) Why didn't you say anything?

SETH: I didn't want to bother you with this; He's not your responsibility.

ALEXA: First of all, he is when he's in class. Second of all, I'm your girlfriend; I get to help take care of your kids.

SETH: I know, baby, I just...

ALEXA stands on her toes and kisses SETH.

ALEXA: I love you.

SETH: (smiling slightly) I love you too.

ALEXA: You can talk to me about these things.

SETH nods his head.

ALEXA: Do you get to see him at all?

SETH: I get supervised visits once a month.

ALEXA: What the hell happened?

SETH: Nikki made up this story about how I was abusive and was a druggie and a bunch of other crap.

ALEXA: Why didn't you tell them she was lying?

SETH: I did; They didn't believe me.

ALEXA: That's bogus.

SETH: I know.

ALEXA: I should go round up Bayley and go kick her ass.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: (chuckles) No, that's ok.

ALEXA: Wanna fool around a little? It won't make everything better, but...

SETH: Do I get to be the man?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (smiles and giggles) Nope.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (BAR AREA)**

KEVIN is sitting at the bar, talking to SUMMER.

SUMMER: How often are you in here?

KEVIN: Just about everyday.

SUMMER: Cool, maybe I'll see you tomorrow?

KEVIN drops his head and chuckles.

KEVIN: Yeah, maybe.

SUMMER walks away from the bar.

KEVIN smirks and nods his head before walking away from the bar.

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (BECKY'S ROOM)**

BECKY and SASHA are changing out of their dress clothes into some comfier clothes.

BECKY: I hate it when I get called a dyke.

SASHA: I know, baby, so do I.

BECKY: I swear to God I'm going to rip her head off-

SASHA: Babe? (with her back to the camera, takes off her bra)

 _*Ooh Track*_

BECKY: (staring at SASHA) Uh, what was I saying? (snaps her fingers) Right, I was gonna make out with my fiancee.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**


	9. S2E2: Do I Know You?

**INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (DINING ROOM)**

BECKY is sitting at the kitchen table, sorting through bills. ALEXA and SASHA walk into the kitchen.

SASHA and ALEXA: (to BECKY) Good morning.

BECKY: Mornin'.

SASHA sits next to BECKY. ALEXA opens the fridge and takes out the milk.

SASHA: (looking at the bills) Watcha doin'?

BECKY: Trying to get our taxes and bills sorted out before they're due. (picks up a piece of paper) I gotta get the car fixed, rent caught up, and our income tax sorted, still.

SASHA: Want me to help?

BECKY: No, babe, but thanks for asking.

ALEXA sits at the table across from BECKY.

ALEXA: How are we behind on rent?

BECKY: Because some people (glares at ALEXA) are late on their payments.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: I had to spend my money on more important things this month.

SASHA: This credit card bill says you spent two hundred dollars at "Sinsations."

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: That's a grocery store.

SASHA: It's a lingerie store.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: How would you know?

SASHA: I shop there.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: You and I went together last week.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: That's not what I meant by important; I spent my pay on something different. But good call on the black silk, Sasha.

SASHA: Right?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: It better have been something super important, because we are behind your half from last month and your half on cable. It's not that much money, Alexa.

ALEXA: I know it isn't. I'll pay you back this month, I promise.

BECKY: Thank you.

SASHA's phone starts ringing.

SASHA: Shoot, gotta get to the station.

SASHA kisses BECKY on the cheek, stands up, and leaves the kitchen.

BECKY: Shoot, I need Sasha's birthday. Sash!

BECKY and ALEXA sit in silence for a few seconds.

ALEXA: She probably left for work.

BECKY: Damn it.

ALEXA: Wait, you don't know your fiancee's birthday?

BECKY: Of course I do. It's... (shakes her head) June... No, April...

ALEXA: (shaking her head) Becky...

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: You need to shut up.

ALEXA: Didn't you celebrate her birthday in the two years you two were together?

BECKY: No, she doesn't like celebrating.

ALEXA: But you should still know when it is.

BECKY: Do you even know Seth's?

ALEXA: May twenty-eighth.

BECKY: (thinks for a moment) Mine?

ALEXA: January thirtieenth.

BECKY: Jeremy's.

ALEXA: July fifth.

BECKY: Ba-

ALEXA: June fifteenth. Sami's is July twelfth. Charlotte is April fifth. AJ is June second and Kevin's is May seventh.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: (stands up) I hate you. (leaves the kitchen)

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**

* * *

 **INT. MKV RADIO STATION (BOOTH 64)**

SASHA and CARMELLA are sitting at their booths, reviewing notes for the show. SASHA is sorting through some papers, while CARMELLA is staring at her with a small smile and a look of admiration on her face.

SASHA: (reading her notes) What part of the show do you want to talk about the music festival?

CARMELLA: (under her breath) You're so pretty.

SASHA: (looking up from her notes at CARMELLA) What?

CARMELLA: Nothing.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: When do you want to talk about the music festival?

CARMELLA: We can lead off with that.

SASHA: (chuckles) We're leading off with callers, like we always do.

CARMELLA: (laughs awkwardly) Yeah, right, of course.

SASHA: Ok, good.

CARMELLA: Hey, so weird question.

SASHA: (tilts her head in curiosity) What's up?

CARMELLA: H-how are y-you?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: I'm doing pretty good.

CARMELLA: Cool.

SASHA looks back at her notes, CARMELLA face palms and groans in frustration.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

KEVIN is sitting on the couch, watching tv. CHARLOTTE walks into the living room.

CHARLOTTE: Where's AJ?

KEVIN: Took Owen to get vaccinated or something.

CHARLOTTE: Or something?

KEVIN: I wasn't paying attention.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Well, I need someone to take me to my doctor's appointment.

KEVIN: Can't you drive yourself?

CHARLOTTE: (frustrated) I'm going to kill you.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN doesn't respond and continues watching tv. CHARLOTTE throws her hands in the air.

CHARLOTTE: Kevin!

KEVIN: Ok, I'll take you, jeez.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY is sitting on the couch, typing on her computer. ALEXA is sitting beside her, watching tv.

ALEXA: I never understood the dynamic of Hide Me, If You Dare.

BECKY: It's a spin-off of The House We Built series.

ALEXA: (shrugs) Still. (turns towards BECKY) What are you doing? More taxes?

BECKY: No, I'm doing research.

ALEXA: On what?

BECKY: Sasha.

ALEXA gives an "are you kidding me" look at the camera.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: You're doing research on your fiancee?

BECKY: It bothers me that you know more about her than I do, and you've only been around for seven months.

ALEXA: Just ask her when she gets home.

BECKY: (quickly shaking her head) Oh, no, no, no, I can't just tell her I forgot her birthday and didn't know that... (leaning closer to the laptop) She "enjoys a nice slice of cheesecake?"

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I thought she loved pumpkin pie.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: It's not a big deal; I don't know everything about Seth.

BECKY: You two haven't been together for two years.

ALEXA: You need to relax, Becky. So you two don't know each other very well, who cares? Does that make you love her any less?

BECKY shakes her head.

ALEXA: Then there's nothing to worry about. Learning little things about each other is just part of the love process. It takes time, but that's the point of the journey.

BECKY: (smiles) Wow, Alexa, that was really well put together.

ALEXA: (laughing) I have my moments.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*30 second Monster Energy commercial*

*30 second J.C. Penny's commercial*

*1 minute commercial about the dangers of tobacco use*

* * *

 **INT. SAINT MORDECAI'S HOSPITAL (WAITING ROOM)**

KEVIN and CHARLOTTE are sitting in the waiting room. CHARLOTTE is reading a parenting book, while KEVIN is playing tic-tac-toe with a small child.

KEVIN: Alright, your turn.

The child draws something on a piece of paper.

KEVIN: What? How the hell do you keep beating me?

CHILD: Cuz you suck.

 _*Laugh Track*_

The child runs off screen.

CHARLOTTE: (reading her book, smiling, in a singsongy voice) Kevin got beat by a five year old.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: He only beat me once.

CHILD: (off-screen) Fifteen times!

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: (looking at CHARLOTTE's book) What are you reading?

CHARLOTTE: It's a parenting guide.

KEVIN: What's it about?

CHARLOTTE: What to do if your husband's best friend is still living with you after two years.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Didn't AJ tell you why I moved in?

CHARLOTTE: (sets her book down) No.

KEVIN: I figured he didn't.

CHARLOTTE: Why did you?

KEVIN: (shaking his head) Now's not the time.

CHARLOTTE: It isn't because of Juliet is it?

KEVIN: (looks at CHARLOTTE in surprise) You know about her?

CHARLOTTE: Of course.

KEVIN sighs and nods his head.

KEVIN: I just needed to be around family for a little while.

CHARLOTTE: I understand completely; I wouldn't know what I would do if I lost AJ.

KEVIN: (chuckles) Me neither.

CHARLOTTE: And before you say anything, the only reason I've always been a bitch to you, is because AJ told me just to act like it was any normal day. He said not to bring up... You know.

KEVIN: AJ's always been a stand-up guy.

CHARLOTTE: That's one of the reason's why I love him.

CHARLOTTE outstretches her arms.

CHARLOTTE: Come on.

KEVIN: (nervously) What the hell are you doing?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Give me a hug before I change my mind.

KEVIN leans in his chair and hugs CHARLOTTE.

KEVIN: This feels so weird.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY and ALEXA are sitting on the couch, watching tv. SASHA enters the living room.

SASHA: Sasha is home.

BECKY jumps up from the couch and hugs SASHA.

BECKY: I missed you so much.

SASHA: (smiling) I was only gone for a few hours.

BECKY: Yeah, but I still missed you.

ALEXA: (raising her hand) I missed you too.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: So...

SASHA: Uh oh.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Funny thing happened today. I was doing taxes, and I forgot your birthday.

SASHA: ...Then what?

BECKY: That's it.

SASHA: Your issue is forgetting my birthday?

BECKY nods her head.

SASHA: Babe, I never told you when my birthday was.

BECKY: You didn't?

SASHA: No, remember I told you I don't like celebrating my birthday? That's why I never told you.

BECKY: Well that's just one more thing I don't know about you.

SASHA: What do you mean?

BECKY: I don't know anything about you. We've been together for two years, we're getting married, and I don't even know your favorite color.

SASHA: Purple. Just like my hair.

BECKY: Still, (takes SASHA's hands) I wanna know everything about you.

SASHA smiles and kisses BECKY.

ALEXA: I would also like to know some things.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*2 minute preview of upcoming sci-fi movie We Could Be Heroes*

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

KEVIN and CHARLOTTE enter the house, each laughing and carrying ice cream cones.

AJ: (sitting on the couch with OWEN) Hey, guys, how'd the doctor's appointment go?

CHARLOTTE: Baby AJ is perfect, (sits beside AJ) the doctor said I just need to watch my cholesterol.

AJ: But you love steak and cheese burgers.

CHARLOTTE: I know.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: And you went and got ice cream?

KEVIN: It was Charlotte's idea.

CHARLOTTE: Yeah, me and Kevin did some bonding; Went for ice cream, stopped by Murphy's for lunch. (pointing at KEVIN) And Kevin, Summer is totally in to you.

KEVIN: Oh, whatever.

AJ: You two bonded?

CHARLOTTE: Yeah, we had a pretty fun day.

AJ: (shocked) ...You two bonded?

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Yeah, we had an actual conversation at the hospital, and we finally found mutual ground.

AJ looks back at CHARLOTTE. CHARLOTTE gives him a sad smile.

AJ: He found out?

CHARLOTTE: It seemed right to tell him.

KEVIN: You don't need to protect me, AJ. I'm a big boy.

AJ: It's just that you get upset when she gets brought up, I don't-

KEVIN: Dude, seriously. I'd be upset if we didn't talk about her sometimes. She was one of your best friends, Char, I'm shocked that you don't talk about her more.

CHARLOTTE: I just didn't want to hurt your feelings.

KEVIN: Guys, (sits on the couch beside CHARLOTTE) Juliet was my wife. Buddy's little sister. She was a part of our lives since college. I miss her every day, but we can talk about her.

The trio sits in silence for a few moments.

AJ: She always had something nice to say.

KEVIN: Yeah, she did.

CHARLOTTE: She always joked around, she almost never took anything serious.

KEVIN: (chuckles) One of the many reasons I loved her.

AJ: She had a nice ass.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Yeah she did.

CHARLOTTE: I'm sorry I'm a bitch.

KEVIN: Oh, Char. (hugs CHARLOTTE) No, you're not.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY, ALEXA, and SASHA are sitting on the couch.

BECKY: If you would tell me you like cheesecake, I'd buy you more.

SASHA: Now I get why you keep buying pumpkin pie.

BECKY: I thought you said you love eating pumpkin pie.

SASHA: I do.

BECKY: Then why don't you eat the ones I buy?

SASHA: Because "pumpkin pie" is my nickname for your... Ya know.

 _*Ooh Track*_

BECKY: Oh...

ALEXA: (disgusted) Oh.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: You dye that hair too?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: No...

SASHA: She's clean shaven.

BECKY: Sasha!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: I love cheesecake, not pumpkin pie.

BECKY: Ok.

SASHA: My favorite color is purple.

BECKY: I knew that one.

SASHA: And my birthday... January twenty-sixth.

BECKY: Ah, finally.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: I love you, silly girl.

BECKY: I love you too.

BECKY and SASHA kiss.

SASHA: I could go for some pumpkin pie, right now.

BECKY: (smirking) I can get you some.

BECKY and SASHA get off the couch and enter BECKY's room.

ALEXA: Guys, the kitchen is that way... I can't believe I fell for that one.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**


	10. S2E3: Fun Facts

**INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)**

SETH, ALEXA, BECKY, SASHA, SAMI, BAYLEY, KEVIN, AJ, CHARLOTTE and DANA are all seated. Everyone, with the exception of KEVIN, is seated at the same table. KEVIN is at a table by himself.

AJ: This is nice. We don't usually get to hang out together.

KEVIN: You guys get to hang out. I'm all alone.

DANA: That's what you get for getting here last.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: You're not even part of the group, Dana.

DANA: Then why am I here with everyone and you're all alone?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER walks up to KEVIN'S table with a basket of food.

SUMMER: Don't feel too bad, Kev. (sets food in front of KEVIN) Garlic Parm wings, on the house.

KEVIN: (smiling) Alright. You're the best, Summer.

SUMMER smiles then leaves off-screen.

SETH: (fake cough) Bang her. (fake cough)

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: (shakes his head, talking to himself) Guy can't get free chicken wings anymore?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA reaches for her beer, but BECKY takes it before she can grab it.

SASHA: What are you doing?

BECKY: You've already had two. Anymore and I'll have to carry you home.

SASHA: I can't wait to see how you act at our wedding.

BECKY: Oh, you're not allowed to have any booze at the wedding.

SASHA: (fake laugh) Real funny.

BECKY: I'm serious.

SASHA: Fine. If I can't have a glass of champagne at my own wedding, then no sex on the wedding night.

BECKY: Aww, what?

SASHA: Or the honeymoon.

The whole group begins to protest against SASHA.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: You can't not not have sex on your honeymoon; That's like eighty five percent of the reason you have one in the first place.

SASHA: We can just have sex at your house. It's not any different.

CHARLOTTE: (crosses her arms) What do you mean _my_ house?

SASHA: Uh... (looks across the room and points her finger) Did Murphy get a new pinball machine?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (looks at BECKY) Becky? Care to explain?

BECKY, sipping her drink, avoids eye contact with CHARLOTTE.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: When did you guys have sex in our house?

SASHA: Remember Kevin's birthday when you invited me and Becky and we had just started dating?

AJ: Yeah, you said you two were just casual and weren't even having se- (he stops when SASHA gives him a sheepish smile) Oh, my God.

CHARLOTTE: (with a horrified look on her face) You said you were moaning cause she was giving you a massage.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Oh, she was massaging something alright.

BECKY and SASHA give BAYLEY shocked and confused looks.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: How do you know?

BAYLEY: I was in the bed next to yours.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I thought you were asleep.

BAYLEY: I was, but then I woke up to somebody saying: "Oh, God, Becky your toes are amazing."

 _*Laugh Track*_

The group turns towards SASHA and BECKY. SASHA and BECKY both avoid eye contact with everyone; BECKY takes a sip of her drink, while SASHA pretends to be reading a menu.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**

* * *

*30 second Dominoes commercial*

*30 second Pizza Hut commercial*

*1 minute local law firm commercial*

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)**

SASHA and BECKY are still avoiding looking at anyone.

ALEXA: So, Sasha... You like feet, huh?

SASHA: I don't _like_ feet. I just...

ALEXA: Have a foot fetish?

SASHA: ... Yeah.

KEVIN: Guys, I'm eating.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: You don't have to be embarrassed about that. We all have weird things we like to do, not just for sex but everyday life.

SETH: Yeah, like how Alexa has sex with her socks on.

The group start laughing, gasping in surprise, etc.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (turns towards SETH and gives him a dirty look) Really?

SETH: It's not a weird fetish or something like that. Your feet just get cold when you orgasm.

BAYLEY chokes on her drink.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: You wanna go there, Seth?

SETH: (shrugs his shoulders and chuckles) It's not a big deal, Lexi. It's just a little fun fact about you.

ALEXA: (with fake joy) Oh, ok, (regular voice, to the group) Seth likes it when I'm the man.

SAMI, KEVIN, AJ: No!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH's jaw drops.

KEVIN: Seth, what the fu-

SUMMER: (walking on screen, interrupting KEVIN) Could we keep our voices down? There's a birthday party going on over there.

KEVIN: No problem, Summer.

SUMMER: What's all the commotion about anyway?

SAMI: Seth likes it when Alexa's the man.

SUMMER gasps in shock and covers her mouth.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Add this to the list of places I can never show my face again.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Don't worry, baby, (in a mocking tone) It's just a little fun fact.

BAYLEY: (raising her hand, in an excited tone) Alexa tried kissing me.

ALEXA: Bayley!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: What?

SUMMER: (pulling up a chair next to KEVIN) I gotta hear this one.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: When did that happen?

ALEXA: Please don't, Bayley.

BAYLEY: Last weekend.

ALEXA: (under her breath) Son of a bitch.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: It was me, Sasha, Becky, and Alexa all hanging out at their apartment. Becky and Sasha started making out and Alexa thought it'd be funny if we made out too. Then she tried kissing me.

SETH: Did you kiss?

ALEXA: Well...

SAMI: (overenthusiasticlly) Please say yes!

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Yeah, but for like two seconds. But I felt horrible about it, Seth. I'm so sorry.

SETH hugs ALEXA.

SETH: (still hugging ALEXA) You don't need to be sorry. I get it. You girls were having a couple of drinks, things got weird, it happens.

SETH, still hugging ALEXA, turns his head towards BAYLEY.

SETH: (mouthing) Second base?

BAYLEY: (nods her head, mouthing) Oh yeah.

SETH gives BAYLEY a thumbs up then gives her a high five.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Ok, now can we have normal conversations now?

AJ: Charlotte's bisexual.

CHARLOTTE: (stammering) So is Bayley.

BAYLEY: Yeah... I think we all already knew that.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Good try though.

KEVIN: (jumping up from his seat) Bayley fantasized about Peter Pan during sex once.

BAYLEY: I told you that in confidence!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: With me?

BAYLEY: No, baby, of course not. (kisses SAMI) It was during the threesome.

AJ and CHARLOTTE both exclaim in surprise. The other members of the group also laugh, exclaim, etc.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: Ok, I'm glad. (pauses for a moment, to the group) Bayley has to sleep with the lights on.

BAYLEY gasps in surprise.

MURPHY: (off camera) Kevin was a virgin until college.

KEVIN: How do you know that?!

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ starts laughing.

KEVIN: AJ has an non-descended testicle.

AJ: I tell that to people in confidence.

SETH: Still a weird way to introduce yourself, by the way.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Summer has a third nipple.

CHARLOTTE: How do you know that?

 _*Nervous Ooh Track*_

AJ: (pointing across the room) That _is_ a new pinball machine.

* * *

*2 Minute preview of upcoming documentary "Friday Night Ignition"*

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)**

The group is sitting in silence; Everyone has shocked expressions on their faces.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (to ALEXA) So... You wear socks during sex?

ALEXA: (nodding her head) Yep.

SASHA nods her head.

AJ: (to BECKY) Your girl likes feet?

BECKY: More than fingers.

KEVIN: (standing beside SETH) How do you like her being the man!?

 _*Laugh Track*_

DANA: I feel left out. I don't have a weird thing about me.

SAMI: (speaking in a monotone) Dana lost her virginity to her algebra teacher when she was fifteen.

 _*Laugh Track*_

DANA: (muttering) Sami finds whipped cream sexy.

AJ: A lot of people do.

BECKY: I have a sort of interesting one.

SETH: Is it going to tear any of us down? It just feels so awkward now that we did that.

BECKY: (shakes her head) No, it's pretty fascinating.

SUMMER: Do you have a third nipple?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: No.

BECKY leans closer towards the table, making everyone else lean in closer.

BECKY: My parents don't know I'm lesbian.

The group reacts surprised.

SASHA: Mine either.

CHARLOTTE: What do they think when they see your Instabook photos with Sasha?

BECKY: They assume she's just a really good friend.

SETH: Why don't they know?

SASHA: Becky's dad is a Catholic priest. And my parents are strict, conservative, military vets. So you can imagine what life would be if they knew about us.

ALEXA: Didn't you ever try to tell them?

BECKY: No, I tried telling my mum, but she told me it was a phase and that I'd grow out of it. But here I am: Twenty-seven and still attracted to girls.

SASHA: And I never bothered telling my parents; One time when I was like, sixteen, we saw a same sex couple at the park. My dad did not ease up on the homophobic slurs.

KEVIN: Your dad should meet Seth.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: I don't like it cause of that: I like it because Alexa's in control.

DANA: That... Makes it less weird... I think.

ALEXA: (whispering to SETH) I like being in control too.

BECKY: So that's my story (takes a sip of her drink) I'll be here all week.

SASHA wraps her arm around BECK and kisses her on the cheek.

BECKY: (to SASHA) I love you.

SASHA: I love you too, Becky.

AJ: My family is pretty religious too. So you can imagine the butt-whoopin' I got when I got caught having sex with my girlfriend when I was sixteen.

The group laughs at AJ's input.

BAYLEY: I've never met my mom.

SAMI: Really?

BAYLEY: (nods her head) I only have pictures, but yeah, I never really met her after she gave birth to me.

SUMMER: I have a crush on Kevin.

ALL: We know.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Where is Kevin?

SUMMER: He said he was stepping out for a second.

AJ: Lucky you.

SUMMER chuckles nervously and nods her head.

SETH: I told Alexa I loved her after only like two weeks together.

CHARLOTTE: Was that before or after she was the man for the first time?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Before.

AJ: In all seriousness though: We should all hang out more often.

The group agrees with him

KEVIN joins the group again.

AJ: (to KEVIN) All good?

KEVIN: Yeah, just my dad.

AJ: How's he doin'?

KEVIN: He's getting better. Tough sonuvabitch.

SASHA: I don't wanna be rude, but I got an early day tomorrow.

CHARLOTTE: (glancing at her phone) It's only five thirty.

SASHA: Yeah, but I wanna get some before I go to sleep.

BECKY: (quickly jumps up) That's my cue!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA and BECKY leave.

AJ: I reckon it's time we leave too.

AJ helps CHARLOTTE stands up and leaves with her.

ALEXA, BAYLEY, SETH, and SAMI say their goodbyes and leave.

KEVIN and DANA are the only ones still sitting at the table.

DANA: Hey.

KEVIN: What's up?

DANA: I've got my eye on that cutie with the brown hair at the bar; Wanna be my wing man?

KEVIN: (laughs) Sure, why not?

DANA walks off screen.

SUMMER walks up to the table and begins collecting the glasses.

KEVIN: How much do I owe ya?

SUMMER: Murphy says it's covered.

KEVIN: No, c'mon, what's the bill?

SUMMER: That guy at the end of the bar handled it.

KEVIN: (looks at the guy) That's the guy Dana has her eye on.

SUMMER: That explains it.

KEVIN: Here. I'll give you a tip.

SUMMER: You don't gotta do that.

KEVIN kisses SUMMER on her cheek. SUMMER looks at KEVIN in surprise, before starting to giggle uncontrollably.

KEVIN: See ya tomorrow.

SUMMER tries to speak, but barely manages to make a sound. KEVIN walks off-screen.

MURPHY: (off-screen) Smooth, Summer.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**


	11. S2E4: About Last Night pt 1

**[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA is passed out on the living room floor, surrounded by beer bottles, chip bags, and other varies snack wrappers.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA begins to wake up. SETH emerges from behind the couch.

ALEXA: *groans in pain* What the hell happened?

SETH: *sits on the couch* I have no idea.

ALEXA: *looks around the living room. Picks up a beer bottle, reads the label, then drops it* This strangely reminds me of Bible camp.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Reminds me of the first day of school.

ALEXA: College?

SETH: Seventh grade.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA emerges from her bedroom, hair a mess, clothes wrinkled, etc.

SASHA: Why do I get the feeling I'm back at church camp?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: What happened last night?

SASHA: (sits beside SETH) We were celebrating... Something, and we obviously did a pretty good job. Kevin's still passed out.

CAMERA shows KEVIN slumped against the kitchen wall with a lampshade over his head.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: That's an impressive feat.

AJ emerges from ALEXA's bedroom.

AJ: Wow, those definitely weren't my underwear.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (shocked) What?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Wait, where's Becky, Bayley and Sami?

SAMI suddenly falls into the frame from the ceiling.

SAMI: (face down in the carpet, muffled) Present!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY walks into the living room from the bathroom.

BAYLEY: Can you guys please not yell?

ALEXA: Isn't that the top I was wearing last night?

BAYLEY: (chuckles) Not after I had a say.

 _*Ooh Track*_

Everyone turns and stares at ALEXA.

ALEXA: Oh come on! So what if I make out with Bayley when I drink? Seth likes it when I [CENSORED] him in the ass.

 _*Laugh Track*_

Everyone turns and looks at SETH.

SETH: *remains silent for a moment* So, looking for Becky.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Last time I saw her was on the fire escape at about eleven.

ALEXA opens the window to the fire escape. BRAY enters the living room through the window.

BRAY: The fireflies speak to me when the harvest moon rises in the midnight sea.

BAYLEY: How high are you right now?

BRAY: About six-three.

 _*Laugh Track*_

The group of people, with the exception of SAMI, BRAY, and KEVIN meet in a circle.

SASHA: Who's the pot head?

SETH: Bray, I think.

ALEXA: Who's Bray?

BAYLEY: My pot dealer.

Everyone gives BAYLEY shocked and confused looks.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Why do you think I'm always so upbeat?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Uh, guys?

The group turns in BRAY's direction. BRAY is laughing maniacally, stripped down to his underwear, and rolling around on the living room floor.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: That must be some great pot.

BAYLEY: *reaching in her pocket* Want some?

ALEXA: *elbows BAYLEY* No!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: I need to go find out what happened to Becky.

AJ: I'll come with you.

SETH: I'll try to find out what else went down last night.

ALEXA: I need to change my clothes.

BAYLEY: I'll come with you.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA starts walking for her room. BAYLEY attempts to follow her but SETH stops her.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Please stop trying to sleep with my girlfriend.

BAYLEY: I don't need to try if it already happened.

ALEXA: *from her room* It did not!

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **AS A SPECIAL TREAT FROM OUR SPONSORS, THIS EPISODE IS COMMERCIAL FREE!**

* * *

 **INT. 34TH STREET COFFEE SHOP**

SETH and BAYLEY walk into the coffee shop. SUMMER, who is waiting in line, sees SETH and BAYLEY and waves to them.

BAYLEY: What I wouldn't do to get some of that.

SETH shakes his head at BAYLEY.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: You have a boyfriend.

BAYLEY: Who's passed out drunk at the moment.

SETH: Because that changes things.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH and BAYLEY join SUMMER in line.

SUMMER: I can only imagine how bad your guys' hangovers are.

SETH: Yeah, we all woke up in sporadic places at Becky's.

SUMMER: Was that before or after Dean broke out the Jager?

SETH and BAYLEY share confused looks.

SETH: Uh... Dean?

SUMMER: Yeah, Dana's new guy: Dean Ambrose.

SETH: Uh, we don't know who that is.

SUMMER: Wow, you guys were messed up.

BAYLEY: Apparently so.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: Me, Dana, and Dean showed up right after you guys cut the cake and started serving sushi.

SETH: *Shakes his head in disbelief* Huh?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: Yeah, sushi and birthday cake, because you were celebrating... *stops and tries to remember* Huh, I can't seem to remember.

BAYLEY: Story of our lives.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: That's actually what we're doing. We can't find Becky and none of us remember what happened last night.

SUMMER: Wait, so Kevin won't remember the lap dance I gave him?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY and SETH stare at SUMMER in shock.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: ...Anyway.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Is there anything you can tell us about last night?

SUMMER: Yeah, I think so...

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (OUTSIDE HALLWAY)**

A graphic saying "The Night Before" shows up across the screen.

SUMMER walks up to the apartment door. Before knocking, SUMMER glances down at her blouse.

SUMMER: *unbuttons top two buttons to show off more cleavage* Might as well let the girls breathe.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER knocks on the door. After a few moments, KEVIN opens the door.

KEVIN: Hey, Summer. *noticing SUMMER's accented cleavage* Uh, so nice of you to stop by.

SUMMER: See anything you like?

KEVIN: *smiles and laughs nervously* Uh, I do, as a matter of fact.

SUMMER: Why don't you invite me in, Kev?

 **INT. 34TH STREET COFFEE SHOP**

SETH: Can we skip the whole lovey dovey crap?

SUMMER: Can take it in the ass but can't take a love story?

Most of the people in the coffee shop turn and stare at Seth.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: And another place I can't return to.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: Anyway...

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

KEVIN: *leading SUMMER* Drinks are in the kitchen, stereo is over there but be cautious of DJ Bayley, and we just cut the cake so that's over by the sushi.

SUMMER: Care to get me a beer?

KEVIN: Absolutely.

KEVIN walks off screen. SAMI walks past SUMMER but sees her outfit and stops.

SAMI: Whoa, girl, you are showin' off tonight.

SUMMER: I know, I'm trying to go home with Kevin tonight.

SAMI: I've known him for years. It's not that hard.

SUMMER patiently waits for KEVIN to return. KEVIN returns with a bottle of beer.

KEVIN: Bottle of Babst; Hope you like it.

SUMMER accepts the bottle of beer and takes a drink.

KEVIN: Wanna dance?

SUMMER: Want a lap dance?

 **INT. 34TH COFFEE SHOP**

SETH: Wait, you just came right out and asked Kevin for a lap dance? There was no emotional connection before hand?

SUMMER: Are you sure you're a guy?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Not when Alexa's around.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: Well, there was some small talk but I cut that out because I didn't want to bore you.

BAYLEY: That sounds like how me and Sami got together.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: *under his breath* Little Miss Innocent, my ass.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: After the lap dance I started doing shots. After that I forget. Since I woke up in my apartment alone, I guess my plan didn't work out.

BAYLEY: It was a good plan.

SUMMER: Thanks, anyway.

SETH: Do you remember who was there when you showed up?

SUMMER: Everyone like usual. Except Charlotte, but I remember AJ saying something about just stopping by because Charlotte was having cramps all day.

SETH: He woke up in Alexa's room this morning.

SUMMER: That's not good. Dana and Dean were in their when I left.

SETH and BAYLYEY exchange worried looks.

BAYLEY: So... You're saying AJ might've cheated on Charlotte?

SUMMER: No, I wouldn't say that. I've known Dana for awhile, and Dean's a regular, they're both a bit cooky but they wouldn't do something like that. Dean wouldn't let someone sleep with his girl.

SETH: Ok, that's good. So we got a little bit of the story figured out. Now we just gotta find Dean and Dana and see what they know.

SUMMER: They're probably at Murphy's already.

SETH thanks SUMMER and leaves the coffee shop with BAYLEY.

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)  
**

SASHA is sitting on the couch with SAMI, holding a bag of peas against his head.

SASHA: What were you doing on the ceiling?

SAMI: You guys dared me to duct tape myself to the ceiling.

SASHA: For what?

SAMI: *sheepishly* A sex tape of you and Becky.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Son of a bitch...

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA walks into the frame and sits on the couch on the other side of SAMI.

SASHA: How's Kevin?

ALEXA: Hungover as hell, but he's fine. Any luck getting a hold of Becky?

SASHA: *shakes her head* I have no idea where she is.

ALEXA: I'm sure she's fine, probably just getting coffee or something.

SASHA: Yeah, maybe.

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR**

SETH and BAYLEY walk up to the bar and sit down.

MURPHY: Hey, guys, what's goin' on?

SETH: We're trying to remember what happened during our party last night.

MURPHY: Yeah, great party. Best sushi I've ever had.

BAYLEY: You were there?

MURPHY: Yeah, but just a little while. Summer wanted me to come pick her up. You guys were messed up when I got there.

SETH: So we've heard.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: We were looking for a regular here: Dean Ambrose.

MURPHY: Oh, him, he's right over there. *gestures a few seats to SETH's right*

DEAN: I ain't buyin' anything before you ask.

SETH: We were just wondering if you remember anything from our party last night.

DEAN: I got a wicked bj in one of the bedrooms.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Anything besides that?

DEAN: *takes a drink of beer* What's it to you?

SETH: We're looking for one of our friends: Becky.

DEAN: I don't know anyone named Becky. Just Dana. And Bray.

BAYLEY: The pot dealer?

DEAN: You know him?

BAYLEY: Yeah, he's my regular guy.

DEAN: Me too, that's so crazy.

SETH face palms and shakes his head.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: It just sucks I didn't get anything from him last night.

DEAN: Trust me, sister, you got plenty of dope.

 _*Laugh Track*_

DEAN: Anyway, since you must know, after Dana sucked the life out of me...

 _*Laugh Track*_

DEAN (cont.): We left the bedroom, and some chick with orange hair and this dude went in after us.

SETH: That's our friend Becky.

DEAN: Oh, well then she's right over there.

SETH and BAYLEY turn around. Sitting by herself with a mug of beer is BECKY.

BAYLEY: Thanks, Dean.

BAYLEY and SETH rush over to BECKY.

BECKY: *looking at SETH and BAYLEY* What?

SETH: Are you drunk already?

BECKY: What's it to you, bottom?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Everyone's looking for you. Sasha's worried.

BECKY: She'll hate me when she finds out what went down last night.

SETH and BAYLEY exchange worried looks.

BAYLEY: Why would she hate you?

BECKY drops her face into her hands.

SETH: Becky?

BECKY: I slept with AJ last night.

BAYLEY: What?

BECKY: *uncovers her face* I had sex with AJ last night, ok? I cheated on my fiance, he cheated on his wife.

 _*Stereotypical Trouble is Brewing music*_

 _To be continued..._

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan**


	12. S2E5: About Last Night pt 2

**INT. MURPHY'S BAR**

SETH, BAYLEY, and BECKY sit at a table towards the back of the bar. SETH and BAYLEY stare at BECKY in a mixture of confusion and shock. BECKY, head resting in her right hand, sips slowly at her mug of beer.

SETH: What makes you think you slept with AJ? Do you remember last night?

BECKY: Yeah. *sits up* I think so. *shrugs shoulders* I dunno. I think it was AJ.

SETH: What makes you think it was him?

BECKY: Uh, it was dark. The person I was with had long dark hair, soft lips and...

SETH: That doesn't mean it was AJ. It could've been Sasha; You might have just been too drunk to realize.

BECKY: No, it definitely wasn't Sasha. This person had a high pitched voice, a ponytail, I think, and kept calling me Merida, like from the Disney movie 'Brave'.

As BECKY gives the description, SETH slowly turns his head to face BAYLEY, who has a look of horror on her face.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Uh... Becky?

BECKY turns her head to look at SETH; Her face shows curiosity.

SETH: Did the person last night have boobs?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I don't think... *pauses; notices the expression on BAYLEY'S face* Wha... No...

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: *giggles sheepishly* Explains why I woke up and went to the bathroom when I realized I was covered in peanut butter.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: No... No, it doesn't.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: *dropping her head back into her hands* How the hell am I gonna tell Sasha I slept with Bayley?

SETH: *to BAYLEY* I don't get why you keep cheating on Sami. If you don't like him, just break up with him.

BAYLEY: I do like him though. He's sweet, funny, and hung like a [CENSORED] horse.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY and SETH look at each other than back at BAYLEY.

BECKY: Then why'd you sleep with me?

BAYLEY: I can't tell you. Seth will be mad.

BECKY: Why?

SETH: (irritated) Why?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: I saw AJ leave the bedroom. I thought he took Alexa in there to lay down... So I thought I had my shot.

SETH: Why is it always _my_ girlfriend?

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED by: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED by: ThatWrestlingFanWrites**

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA and SASHA are sitting on the couch. SASHA is crying into a couch pillow. ALEXA has an uncomfortable look on her face.

ALEXA: *stiffly, pats SASHA on her shoulder* There, there, Sasha. Becky will show up eventually.

SASHA: *lifts her head from the pillow* Wh-what if they don't? What happens if my little Irish Potato left me?

ALEXA: Irish what now?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: P-p-p-potato.

ALEXA: *staring at the ceiling* P-p-p-p-please kill me.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY, SETH, and BAYLEY walk through the front door. SASHA jumps up from the couch and runs to BECKY, giving her a massive hug and dozens of kisses to her face.

ALEXA: Thank God you guys are here. Miss Cries-A-Lot was starting to get on my nerves. *walks up to SETH and gives him a kiss* Where was she?

SETH: Drowning her sorrows in a pint of beer.

ALEXA: Like a real Irishwoman should.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Seth? *taps SETH on his shoulder* Can I please go? I don't think I can do this.

SETH: Not until we tell Sasha the truth.

ALEXA: What happened?

SETH: *sighs; talks quietly* Becky thought she hooked up with AJ last night. Turns out, wasn't AJ.

ALEXA: Ok, that's a relief.

SETH: But... She did hook up with someone else.

ALEXA: Oh, God, who?

SASHA: WHAT?!

SETH, ALEXA, and BAYLEY turn around towards BECKY and SASHA. BECKY has her head hung low, SASHA has a look of unbelievable fury on her face.

SASHA: Becky, you can't be serious.

BECKY: I'm so sorry, babe. I was just so drunk.

SASHA: Do you think that makes it ok? If I was drunk, would you be fine with me sleeping with a boy?

BECKY slowly shakes her head.

SASHA: Then why would it be any different if it was Bayley?

ALEXA: Wha- *turns back around and stops BAYLEY from backing away* Get back here!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: I-I can't believe you would break my trust like this. After almost three years together, I thought I knew you.

BECKY: *crying* Baby, I'm sorry. You know I wouldn't do it again.

SASHA: *calmly* I know. Because I won't let you.

BECKY: What do you mean?

SASHA: Maybe... Maybe this engagement isn't a good idea.

 _*Sad Oooh Track*_

BECKY: But we can still be together, right?

SASHA: No.

 _*Sad Ooooh Track*_

BECKY, drops to her knees, cries harder. SASHA crosses her arms and retreats to her bedroom.

ALEXA: *shaking her head at BAYLEY* You really screwed up this time.

ALEXA retreats to her own room. SETH follows her and closes the door. BAYLEY, starting to tear up also, hurries out of the apartment.

 _*Sad Ooooh Track*_

* * *

*2 Minute preview of upcoming drama series: The House We Built*

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

KEVIN and AJ are sitting on the couch, watching tv.

CHARLOTTE enters the room, followed by OWEN.

CHARLOTTE: *groans in disgust* When's the last time you showered?

KEVIN: *looks at CHARLOTTE, then over to AJ* She talking to me or you?

AJ: Probably both.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: I'm talking to both of you. You both smell like whiskey.

KEVIN: Could've sworn I was doing Jager bombs last night.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Well, hurry up and figure something out. Sasha is having a bad day and we're taking her out.

AJ: What happened?

CHARLOTTE: Apparently, last night, Becky slept with Bayley after you took her to bed.

KEVIN: Damn. Poor Sami. That's gotta suck for him.

AJ and CHARLOTTE give KEVIN shocked expressions.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: *realizes CHARLOTTE and AJ are looking at him* What?

CHARLOTTE: Was that sympathy?

KEVIN: Yeah, and it left a bad taste in my mouth.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Wait, Becky didn't sleep with Bayley. She slept with me.

CHARLOTTE's jaw drops as a _*sterotypical trouble is brewing and nervous ooooh sound*_ plays.

CHARLOTTE: Did you?

AJ: *realizing his life is in danger, jumps off the couch and backs away from CHARLOTTE* Honey, not like that, ok? I did not have sex with Becky.

CHARLOTTE: *digs a pair of brass knuckles from her pocket and sets them on her right hand, aggressively* Yeah? What did you mean then, sweetie?

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ and KEVIN: Where'd you get brass knuckles?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Then what did you mean, AJ?

AJ: I got her in bed. I was so hammered, I fell on the floor. Bayley came in, but she didn't stay very long. Like, two seconds in and out. I think they kissed but they didn't sleep with each other. Then, when Bayley tripped over me, I crawled into bed next to Becky but she was passed out.

CHARLOTTE: Ok, then we have to tell Sasha.

CHARLOTTE leaves the room.

KEVIN: *to AJ* Dude, she was about to straight murder your ass.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*2 minutes of shameless plugs for my other stories*

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY is seated on the couch with her knees pressed against her chest. SASHA emerges from her room.

SASHA: You're still here?

BECKY remains silent.

SASHA: The least you could do is humor me and tell me why you cheated.

BECKY: I was drunk.

SASHA: *begins to yell, but stops herself* That's not... That's not a good enough excuse.

There's a knock on the door. SASHA answers it. AJ, CHARLOTTE, KEVIN, BAYLEY, and SAMI, and SETH all walk through the door.

SASHA: *to BAYLEY, sarcastically* Great. You're here.

CHARLOTTE: Ok. We made a discovery. Turns out, Becky didn't sleep with Bayley.

SASHA: Bull.

CHARLOTTE: No, seriously. AJ was in the room with them last night. He said there was no way they slept together. They may have kissed, but there was no sex.

SASHA looks at BECKY.

BECKY: *sadly* I told you I couldn't have done it.

SASHA stays silent.

BAYLEY: Sasha, I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was Becky, even. I thought she was Alexa.

SETH mutters something angrily under his breath. CHARLOTTE elbows him.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Ok. So am I supposed to accept that and move on? Becky still kissed another girl. And that's not ok.

BAYLEY: Oh, for goodness sake. *walks up to SASHA and kisses her*

 _*Excited Oooh track*_

BAYLEY: There, now you two are even.

SASHA: What? That doesn't count. I didn't want her to kiss me.

KEVIN: *sing-songy* Irony.

SASHA: Shut up, Kevin!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Babes. *takes SASHA's hand* I didn't mean to kiss Bayley. I wouldn't do that if I was in my right mind.

SASHA: *sighs* Ok. I still love you. Chances are we would've been back together in a week anyway.

SASHA and BECKY hug.

SAMI: Just so we're clear: Everyone's done making out with my girlfriend?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Wait, then why did Bayley wake up covered in peanut butter?

EVERYONE turns and looks at SAMI and BAYLEY.

SAMI: *chuckling nervously* Oh, boy, I gotta get goin'. *takes BAYLEY by the hand and begins moving towards the door* Good seeing you all again. Happy... Whatever the heck we were celebrating yesterday.

SAMI and BAYLEY leave the apartment.

SETH: They were totally [CENSORED] with the peanut butter, weren't they?

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**


	13. S2E6: Boundaries

**INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA is pacing around the living room with her cellphone in her hand. She seems anxious about something.

ALEXA: (voice over) Ok, Alexa, you can do this. Just call Seth and tell him. It won't be too bad... Right?

ALEXA sighs, sits on the couch, types a few things on her phone, then puts the phone against her ear.

ALEXA: Hey, Seth, whatcha up to?

SETH: (over the phone) Hey, babe, just driving to work. Why, what's up?

ALEXA: Well... That's the thing. I kinda wanted to talk to you. It's important but it's not that important.

SETH: (over the phone) Whoa, if this is what I think it is we should do it in person.

ALEXA: No no no no no no, this isn't a break up, Seth. It's something good.

SETH: (over the phone) Oh, that's good. What do you wanna talk about?

ALEXA: Well... (she covers her mouth with her hand and whispers into the phone; her voice is inaudible)

SETH: (over the phone) Wow... That's not a bad idea, babe. If you really want to then I guess we can.

ALEXA: Good. Then maybe I'll... (she covers her mouth again and whispers into the phone)

SETH: Again, great things, babe. Lemme just take you off of speaker since Bayley's in the car.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: (over the phone) Hi, Lexi!

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA quickly hangs up the phone. After a moment, she quickly spins around to find BECKY standing in the doorway of the kitchen. BECKY is standing there with a shocked expression on her face.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (nervously) Hey, Becky.

BECKY: Do you kiss your mum with that mouth?

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **WRITTEN AND DIRECTED by: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas**

 **CREATED by: ThatWrestlingFanWrites**

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (SASHA AND BECKY'S BEDROOM)**

SASHA is in the middle of changing. BECKY is sitting on her bed with her laptop open in front of her but she can't keep her focus off of SASHA.

SASHA: Do you know what time we have to pick up the car?

BECKY: (alluring) Mmmmm.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA quickly turns around. She puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head.

BECKY: What? Ya get dressed in front of me. Do ya really expect me not to watch?

SASHA: Did you at least get something for breakfast?

BECKY: Oh, I got something for you to eat. (looks at the camera and winks)

 _*Laugh and Oooh Track*_

SASHA: Ha ha. Don't forget you're still in the dog house.

BECKY: For the Bayley thing? I thought you forgave me for it?

SASHA: I did. But I'm still unsure I can trust you a hundred and ten percent.

BECKY: (sighs) Ok, fair enough. What percentage am I at right now?

SASHA: About ninety.

BECKY: Ok... What if I rubbed your feet and made you dinner?

SASHA: One hundred and six.

BECKY: What if I made out with Bayley again?

SASHA: Seventy.

BECKY: What if I bought you the new Deadpool movie and we watched it without me complaining once?

SASHA: Ninety five.

BECKY: What if I slept with someone at work after getting super drunk at the Christmas party?

SASHA: Are you confessing to something?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I'm just trying to figure out what I gotta do to get your trust back.

SASHA: That's for you to figure out and me to never tell you.

BECKY: Great. Just lovely.

SASHA: (sits on bed beside BECKY) Well, I need to be at work soon. I could use a foot rub before I go.

BECKY rolls her eyes but pulls SASHA'S feet into her lap.

* * *

 **INT. SETH'S CAR**

SETH is driving, with BAYLEY in the passenger's seat. Both have very uncomfortable looks on their faces.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: So...

BAYLEY: What the [CENSORED]?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: How's the weather been?

BAYLEY: She does what to where?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Oh, come on, like you've never done anything with Sami.

BAYLEY: Yeah, normal stuff. Not the forbidden reverse Indian deathlock of shame, whatever the hell that is.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: And a sex tape... What does that even mean?

SETH: Are you serious?

BAYLEY: What? Is that like a name of a duct tape brand that you tie Alexa up with? Which she mentioned, by the way, so don't try denying it!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: A sex tape is when you record you and your boyfriend or girlfriend doing... Ya know... It.

BAYLEY: People do that?

SETH: Yeah. Lot's of people. Alexa's sent me a few before. It's just her... Doing stuff.

BAYLEY: Could I see it?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: I shouldn't have to answer that.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Does every guy like doing that?

SETH: I don't know. Ask Sami. He might be into it. (mutters) He's into freaking peanut butter.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: That was my idea.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*30 second Coca-Cola commercial*

*30 second Apple commercial*

*1 minute commercial for upcoming series We Win, We Riott*

* * *

 **INT. MKV RADIO STATION (BOOTH 64)**

SASHA is sitting behind her booth, going through her notes. CARMELLA is sitting at her booth with her phone out, trying to take pictures of SASHA without being noticed.

CARMELLA takes a picture but the flash goes off, drawing attention from SASHA.

SASHA: Are you taking pictures of me?

CARMELLA: ...No.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (chuckles) Alright, weirdo.

SHANE walks into the booth with a woman behind him.

SHANE: Ladies, this is your guest today, mayoral candidate Ember Moon.

SASHA stands up from her chair and shakes hands with Ember.

SASHA: I'm Sasha Banks. It's nice to meet you, Ember.

EMBER: Likewise.

The two continue shaking hands, not breaking eye contact. SASHA smiles and giggles nervously, while EMBER smirks and drops her head. CARMELLA aggressively clears her throat, breaking the two from their exchange.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CARMELLA: Good you've met my _engaged_ co-host.

EMBER: (to SASHA) You're engaged? I've been married to my husband for four years.

SASHA and EMBER continue talking. CARMELLA face palms.

 _*Laugh Track*_

EMBER: (to CARMELLA) Good to meet you too, Carmella, right?

CARMELLA: (stiffly) Yep.

EMBER: Yeah, I love your social media gossip bit. It's so entertaining.

CARMELLA's expression softens.

CARMELLA: Oh, well thank you much, dear. Someone has to air everyone's Instabook drama on the radio."

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: What brings you to the show?

EMBER: Just talking about the election. How I plan to use a small percentage of taxes to help redesign some parks to make them safer for children and make empty lots into a family oriented environment. Plus, to finally get a speed bump put in next to the school zones to slow people down around the children.

SASHA: Wow, that's really smart. The mayor we have now is a complete moron.

EMBER: While I agree, I can't say that openly.

SHANE: My sister's the mayor.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: And you think we're wrong?

SHANE: I never said that.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SHANE leaves the room. SASHA leads EMBER to her table.

SASHA: Ok, we're gonna sit beside each other since the only working third mic is next to mine. (SASHA hands EMBER a set of headphones. Their hands touch, but neither of them pull away.)

CARMELLA aggressively clears her throat again, breaking the others up.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*2 minute preview of upcoming show Baby, Help Me*

* * *

 **INT. MKV RADIO STATION (BOOTH 64)**

SASHA: And all you bosses stay legit.

CARMELLA: And the princesses keep bein' fine as heck.

SASHA sighs and takes her headphones off.

CARMELLA: Great show, Sasha, but I gotta go pick up my car from the shop. I'll see ya tomorrow.

CARMELLA leaves.

EMBER: Well, thanks for having me on the show.

SASHA: Oh, it's not problem. I actually had fun talking about your ideas if you win.

EMBER: Even the part when that guy called in and asked what I was wearing?

SASHA: Kevin's special.

 _*Laugh Track*_

EMBER: Here. (she hands SASHA a business card)

SASHA: Oh, don't worry, I'm already voting for you.

EMBER: I know. But this card has my cellphone number... In case you wanna do something together sometime.

SASHA: What, like a date?

EMBER: No, of course not. Like just hang out and have drinks. You seem like a pretty cool person, and I want us to be friends. Maybe I'll give you special treatment when I win.

SASHA: (laughs) Then I'll definitely have to call.

EMBER: Good. (she gives SASHA a wink then leaves the room)

SASHA looks down at the card, shakes her head, then tucks it into her pocket and leaves too.

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (ALEXA'S BEDROOM)**

SETH is busy setting up a video camera on the dresser. ALEXA is sitting on the bed.

ALEXA: You got it ready?

SETH: Almost. (he presses a button then hurries over to the bed) Alright, all set.

Right as SETH leans in to kiss ALEXA, something in the closest falls over.

SETH: The hell?

ALEXA: Bayley! Get out of my closet!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: (muffled) It's not Bayley.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA covers up with the quilt. SETH hurries to the closet and opens the door. SAMI stumbles out.

SAMI: Thanks, I couldn't get out. There's no door handle on the inside.

ALEXA: WHY WERE YOU IN MY CLOSET!?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: Well... Bayley mentioned you were making a sex tape and thought about spying on you. So I figured I'd come in here and stop her. Then I heard you guys coming so I ducked into the closet so I didn't seem like a creep.

SETH: And hiding in Alexa's closet knowing we were coming in here to have sex wasn't creepy?

SAMI: Yeah, in hindsight I should've done some things differently.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH shoves SAMI out of the room.

SETH: (sighs) You too, Bayley.

BAYLEY rolls out from under the bed.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY runs out of the room.

SETH: (to ALEXA) Now... Where were we?

ALEXA: I'm not really in the mood anymore.

SETH: Son of a bitch.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**


	14. S2E7: Caught

**INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY and ALEXA are sitting on the couch. SASHA enters the room from the kitchen.

SASHA: Anything good on?

BECKY: I think Alexa turned on a horror movie.

ALEXA: This is the six o'clock news.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I rest my case.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA sits between ALEXA and BECKY.

BECKY: Who's Ember Moon?

SASHA: (nervously) Why? What'd she say? I didn't have lunch with her.

BECKY: There was a commercial for the mayoral election...

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Oh... Right, yeah, she's running for mayor.

ALEXA: (looking at SASHA suspiciously) What the hell was that?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (stands up from couch) Anyway, I gotta go. (she kisses BECKY then waves to ALEXA) See you guys later.

SASHA leaves.

ALEXA: Are these paranoid outbursts making you at all suspicious?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Meh, they were. But you get used to them after the sixth or seventh time.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **DIRECTED BY: CHRIS R. JACKSON & JOSEPH THOMAS**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFanWrites**

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. BRYAN'S DINER (DINING AREA)**

SUMMER and KEVIN are seated at a table. KEVIN is reading from a menu; SUMMER is looking at her phone.

SUMMER: Oh, shoot.

KEVIN: What's the matter?

SUMMER: Murphy might want me to come cover a shift.

KEVIN: Tell him you're having lunch with me.

SUMMER types at her phone. After a few moments, her phone buzzes again.

SUMMER: He says I don't have to come in now. Huh, maybe I should go out with you more often.

KEVIN: (looking at his own phone) He just sent me a bunch of 'thumbs up' emojis.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: What are you gonna have?

SUMMER: I'm still deciding over the salad and the vegan pizza.

KEVIN looks into the camera with a worried expression on his face.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Are you serious?

SUMMER: No, of course not. I'm deciding between the triple cheeseburger and the seven layer nachos.

KEVIN: (under his breath) I think I'm in love.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: I might settle on a steak sandwich.

SUMMER: Hey, what's the name of the lesbian you're friends with?

KEVIN: I'd like to see where this is headed.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: Doesn't one of them have purple hair? Her name's Sasha right?

KEVIN scans the room until he spots SASHA sitting at a table with EMBER.

KEVIN: Huh, that is my lesbian friend. And that isn't her fiance.

SUMMER: You think it's something we should worry about?

SASHA leans over the table and kisses EMBER.

 _*Stereotypical "Trouble is Brewing" Music*_

KEVIN: Uhhhh...

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: That doesn't look too good.

SUMMER: Maybe it's a friendly kiss?

KEVIN: You use tongue when you kiss your friends?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: Well...

KEVIN: Oh?

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN checks over his shoulder again. SASHA and EMBER stand up from the table and walk away hand in hand.

SUMMER: What should we do?

KEVIN: (sighs) I don't know.

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA, BECKY, and SETH are sitting on the couch watching tv. SASHA walks in through the front door.

SASHA: Hey, guys. (kisses BECKY) You haven't moved from this spot all day have you?

ALEXA, BECKY, SETH: No.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (to BECKY) You don't have any clients?

BECKY: (looking at the tv) Well, I usually would. But now that I wear a ring to the gym, all the rich old ladies don't feel like hitting on me as much as they used to. Now they hit on Enzo, and that's just... (she pretends to dry heave)

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Just take your ring off and pretend you aren't engaged.

BECKY & SETH: What?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Why would she pretend she isn't engaged? That seems pretty sleazy.

SASHA: I don't know. Maybe she does it to get a promotion and further help the financial income in her household.

BECKY and SETH aren't paying attention, but ALEXA is staring at SASHA with wide eyes.

ALEXA: Sasha... What did you do?

SASHA: (nervously chuckles) Who cares? Becky isn't paying attention anyway.

SASHA walks off screen. BECKY looks up to where SASHA was standing.

BECKY: Does Sasha seem weird to any of you guys?

ALEXA: (sighs) No, Becky, she seems fine.

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

KEVIN and SUMMER are sitting on the couch, sharing a blanket. AJ walks into the living room.

AJ: Hands over the blanket, you guys.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Summer isn't doing anything.

SUMMER: Can't say the same for Kevin.

 _*Ooh and Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE and OWEN walk into the room.

CHARLOTTE: (to AJ) Did you remember to book the appointment with the doctor? I don't think I'll make it through the week.

AJ: Yeah, I made sure to give him a call. I think he said...

AJ is cut off by SUMMER suddenly yelling out loud. AJ and CHARLOTTE turn to the couch.

KEVIN: She just really likes this movie.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

SASHA is sitting on the couch, texting. ALEXA walks into the room.

SASHA: Hey, Lexi.

ALEXA: You forgot to put your ring back on.

SASHA looks at her hand. She quickly puts her ring back on.

SASHA: How'd you spot that?

ALEXA: Well, between your lies to Becky and your weird attitude lately, I figure something's up.

SASHA: It's not what you think...

ALEXA: Then Kevin mentioned seeing you and some chick at Bryan's this afternoon...

SASHA doesn't respond.

ALEXA: And apparently you were kissing this other girl... Who isn't your fiance.

SASHA: It's not what it looks like.

ALEXA: No? To me, it seems like you're a hypocrite. So, either you tell Becky or I do. As her friend, I can't keep this from her. As her future wife, you shouldn't either.

ALEXA leaves the room. SASHA slumps into the couch and sighs.

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**


	15. S2E8: Break (season 2 finale)

**INT. MKV RADIO STATION (BOOTH 64)**

SASHA and CARMELLA are sitting at their assigned desks.

SASHA: Well, Mrs Jefferson, if your husband really loves you he'll choose you over his baseball card collection.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: (clicking a button on her console) Good morning, caller, you're on with The Boss and The Princess of Stanton Island.

KEVIN: (over the phone) Yeah, uh, what should I do if a friend of mine doesn't know her fiance is cheating on her?

SASHA hits the hang up button.

 _*Nervous Laughter Track*_

CARMELLA: I kinda wanted to hear your opinion on that.

SASHA: Uh, that's not really the topic of today's discussion. We are doing turmoil with spouses; Fiance's don't count. (she hits a button on her console again) Good morning caller, what's the issue in you love life?

SAMI: (over the phone) Yeah, my girlfriend is a nymphomaniac with a peanut butter fetish...

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Wow, that's really interesting...

CARMELLA: Don't you dare hang up.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA sighs heavily.

SASHA: Well, let's hope our censor team is ready for this one.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **DIRECTED BY: CHRIS R. JACKSON & JOSEPH THOMAS**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFanWrites**

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. CHARLOTTE AND AJ's HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA, KEVIN, and SUMMER are sitting on the couch. CHARLOTTE enters the room.

CHARLOTTE: Morning, guys.

SUMMER, ALEXA, KEVIN: (undecipherable mumbling)

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE picks up an empty bag of potato chips.

CHARLOTTE: Look, Alexa, if you're gonna be hanging out here more often you need to pick up after yourself ok?

ALEXA: Don't worry, Charlotte. I'll only be here when Sasha's home.

CHARLOTTE: What happened with you two?

ALEXA: Let's just say she's been lying to her loved ones for a while and I can't stand to watch it anymore. (to KEVIN) I thought your call in this morning was funny.

KEVIN: Yeah, Sasha didn't 'cause she threatened to castrate me if I ever call in to her show again.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (picking up empty beer bottles) Start to pick up after yourself, Kev, or I'll do the same.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: Did she tell Becky yet?

ALEXA: Nope. She refuses to talk about it when I'm around and Becky won't listen to me. I just can't stand the fact that Becky isn't seeing that Sasha is banging the mayoral candidate.

The group sits in silence for a moment.

CHARLOTTE: I'm surprised, Kev, usually you have a sarcastic comment ready.

KEVIN: I forgot my line.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. BECKY and ALEXA's APARTMENT (BECKY and SASHA's BEDROOM)**

BECKY and SASHA are lying on the bed. BECKY is on top of SASHA, kissing her.

 _*Excited Ooh Track*_

BECKY: How about a little more sugar, Mrs Lynch?

BECKY tries to lift SASHA's shirt. SASHA slowly pushes her hands away.

BECKY: What is it?

SASHA: I'm not really in the mood right now.

BECKY sits up.

BECKY: But I did that thing with my tongue. You love the thing.

SASHA: I know, baby, but I'm just tired, you know? I didn't get much sleep and work was really long...

BECKY: No, I get it. Why were you home an hour later than normal today? I made you lunch but you weren't here.

SASHA: (looking away) Yeah, I was... Going over tomorrow's show with 'Mella. Got hung up, I should've called.

BECKY: Yes, you should've. (kisses SASHA) How about we go out tonight? Dinner, just the two of us.

SASHA: I got plans with a friend.

BECKY: More important than your fiance? It's been so long since we've gone out together.

SASHA: (irritably) It's just drinks with a friend, what don't you understand?

BECKY backs off, visibly hurt.

 _*Sad Aww Track*_

SASHA sighs.

SASHA: Look. How about Friday? We can have lunch after the show, go to a movie, go to dinner, drinks, and some love making?

BECKY shrugs.

BECKY: I feel like we're drifting apart since you started hanging out with that mayor lady.

SASHA: Ember is just a friend, ok? She's really nice and her husband is too. If you want, you can come along tonight and meet her. I'll tell her to bring her husband too.

BECKY: Ok. But I still want to go out on Friday.

SASHA: Of course. You aren't the only one that's been missing sex between us.

BECKY chuckles.

BECKY: Do we have to wait until Friday?

SASHA: Think you can do that tongue thing again?

BECKY: Oh, you bet your arse I can.

BECKY kisses SASHA's neck. SASHA stares off into the distance with a look of guilt on her face.

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY's BAR**

SASHA, BECKY, EMBER, and TYE are sitting at a table.

EMBER: You know, Becky, I've been wondering when I'd get to meet you. Sasha talks about you all the time when we hang out.

BECKY: Yeah? It's nice to finally meet you too. I've seen your commercials all over tv.

EMBER: Thanks, Tye edits them himself.

BECKY: By force or hire?

TYE: Force, usually.

 _*Laugh Track*_

EMBER chuckles.

EMBER: He majored in graphic design. He's really good, isn't he?

TYE excuses himself from the table.

BECKY: He seems very modest.

EMBER: He is. Sasha, how've you been?

SASHA seems to be struggling to say something.

BECKY: Sash?

SASHA: Uh... I'm fine...

BECKY: Ok, weirdo, I'm gonna head to the bathroom quick.

BECKY leaves the table.

EMBER: Can you tell me why you're so quiet?

SASHA: Can you stop running your foot up my leg?

 _*Laugh Track*_

EMBER: Sorry, babe. It's been awhile, I missed you.

SASHA: I missed you too. I had a lot of fun this morning.

EMBER checks around her before leaning over the table and kissing SASHA.

The camera pans to KEVIN, ALEXA, and SUMMER sitting at the bar; SUMMER is behind the bar wiping down glasses, ALEXA is writing on a notepad, and KEVIN is staring through a pair of binoculars.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: That dumb ass isn't even hiding her affair. Poor Becky doesn't even see it happening.

KEVIN: (staring through the binoculars) Miss Bordeaux is wearing a low cut tee tonight too.

SUMMER: Excuse me?

KEVIN almost drops his binoculars.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: I mean, I love you?

SUMMER: Mmmhmm.

ALEXA: We gotta catch them in the act. Wait for Sasha to kiss Ember again and we snap a picture. Then we show it to Becky.

KEVIN: And send a copy to Kevin.

SUMMER: Me too.

ALEXA looks at SUMMER in surprise. KEVIN smirks and nods his head.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. BECKY and ALEXA's APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

SASHA and BECKY enter the living room from the front door.

SASHA: Tonight was fun, huh? Ember and Tye seemed to like you.

BECKY's phone chimes. She pulls out her phone.

BECKY: Tonight was great. (she frowns) You... Seemed to have more fun with Ember tonight.

SASHA: (sits on the couch) Yeah, she's a fun person. Don't you think?

BECKY: Yeah, just thought it was weird you got to make out with her and I didn't.

SASHA: What?

BECKY: Just got a text from Alexa with a picture of the next mayor of this city kissing and feeling up my fiance. Well, it was sent to a group chat with Kevin and Summer but I'm not gonna bother with that part.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SASHA: Becky...

BECKY: Don't even want to try and deny it?

SASHA: You have a picture. What good will that do?

BECKY: At least tell me your sorry you did this.

SASHA stands up.

SASHA: I can't.

BECKY: Why?

SASHA: Because I'm not...

 _*Sad Ooh Track*_

BECKY: After everything we've been through, you just want to throw it all away for some girl?

SASHA: No, that's not what this was. Becky, I'm terrified of getting married. Like, what if I made a huge mistake saying yes? You are the only girl I've been with and what if I'm just hung up on the first girl I've loved?

BECKY: So you love Ember?

SASHA: No, I love you, Becky. I love you and I want to marry you. But I needed something to show me that I wasn't making a mistake committing to you so soon. Becky, I love you so much...

BECKY: (cutting SASHA off) No, you don't. If you loved me, you wouldn't have cheated on me. Sasha, after the crap you gave me for kissing Bayley when I was drunk and you broke up with me after. If you think I can forgive you for sleeping with another woman, you are out of your mind.

BECKY starts walking towards her room. She pauses before reaching the door.

BECKY: I expect you and your shit to be out of here by tomorrow morning.

 _*Sad Ooh Track*_

BECKY enters her bedroom and slams the door behind her.

* * *

 **INT. CHARLOTTE and AJ's HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

CHARLOTTE walks into the living room, rubbing her stomach. AJ, KEVIN, and ALEXA are sitting on the couch.

CHARLOTTE: Guys... I think my water just broke.

KEVIN, AJ, ALEXA: [CENSORED]

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ frantically gets off the couch and guides CHARLOTTE out the front door.

ALEXA: What now?

KEVIN: I dunno. Wanna do it?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Nah, you got Summer.

KEVIN: She's waiting in my room for us.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: What about Seth?

KEVIN: Him too.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Sure, what the hell?

ALEXA and KEVIN get off the couch and head for his bedroom.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**


	16. S3E1: Paging Dr Carter

**INT. SAINT MORDECAI'S HOSPITAL (WAITING ROOM)**

KEVIN, SUMMER, ALEXA, SETH, BAYLEY, and SAMI are all sitting in different chairs.

BAYLEY: Did you guys seriously have a foursome?

KEVIN, SUMMER, ALEXA, SETH: No.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: (chuckling) Did Kevin chicken out and ruin the whole thing?

KEVIN, SUMMER, ALEXA, SETH: Yeah.

BAYLEY: (shrugs) I would've settled with just Alexa, to be honest.

SETH: (face cradled in his hand) Can't we go one season without Bayley trying to hit on my girlfriend?

 _*Laugh Track*_

After a few moments, AJ walks into the shot wearing a sanitary gown.

KEVIN: (to AJ) What's up, man?

AJ grins, at a loss for words, and gestures for the others to follow him.

* * *

 **INT. HOSPITAL ROOM 21225**

KEVIN, AJ, ALEXA, SETH, BAYLEY, and SAMI walk into the room. CHARLOTTE is laying in a hospital bed, holding a baby in her arms.

CHARLOTTE shushes the group as they approach her, but she has a massive smile on her face.

AJ: (in a hushed tone) Guys... I'd like you to meet Evan.

AJ takes the baby from CHARLOTTE. The group surrounds him to take turns holding the baby, congratulating the couple, etc.

 _*Aww Track*_

KEVIN: He's a beefy little guy, isn't he?

CHARLOTTE: Eight pounds, six ounces.

BAYLEY: Holy [CENSORED]!

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: I know. If it wasn't for Dr Carter, I don't think I would've been able to make it.

DR CARTER walks on screen to a cheer from the audience. SETH looks at ALEXA, who is staring at DR CARTER with a sultry smirk, and does a double take at her.

 _*Laugh Track*_

DR CARTER: Please, call me Ethan. Or EC3; It's what my friends call me.

ALEXA, lunging ahead of the group to get to DR CARTER first, reaches out to shake hands with the doctor.

ALEXA: (seductively) E... C... 3.

SETH throws his hands up at his sides and curses under his breath.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: (to SETH) Looks like I'm not the only one trying to get in Lexi's pants.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **DIRECTED BY: CHRIS R. JACKSON & JOSEPH THOMAS**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFanWrites**

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

SETH and ALEXA walk in through the front door. BECKY is sitting on the couch, watching tv.

ALEXA: (to BECKY) Beck, hey, you just missed seeing AJ and Charlotte's baby.

SETH: (under his breath) And seeing Alexa freak out over Dr Handsome.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: (shakes her head before speaking) Sorry, I'm not really in the mood for this kind of thing.

Before ALEXA can ask what BECKY means, SASHA emerges from their bedroom with a suitcase. BECKY turns and looks at SASHA, but quickly turns back around to look at the tv.

SASHA: Beck-

BECKY: (cutting SASHA off) Just go.

While a _*Sad Awww*_ track plays, SASHA nods her head slowly and leaves the apartment.

ALEXA: (to BECKY) Is everything ok?

BECKY: No, it's not ok.

ALEXA: Do you wanna talk about it?

BECKY sighs, but nods her head.

BECKY: Sure, but just you and I.

Both girls turn and look at SETH. SETH looks at each of them, before taking the hint and going into ALEXA's bedroom.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Did Sasha do something bad?

BECKY: (chuckles sarcastically) Oh, aye, you can say that. She cheated on me with the mayoral candidate. Which, to me, makes no sense since she wanted to marry me. I just... I don't get why she did it, you know?

ALEXA: Did she say why?

BECKY: She's scared of marrying me.

ALEXA: But, she proposed... Seth, get out of here!

SETH quickly ducks back into ALEXA's bedroom.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Why did she propose then if she doesn't want to get married so soon?

BECKY: I don't know. I told her to pack her stuff and leave. I don't want to live with someone who breaks trust like that and expects all to be forgiven.

ALEXA: Do you think you'll ever forgive her?

BECKY sighs.

BECKY: Maybe... I don't know yet. If she gets her head out of her arse, then maybe.

ALEXA offers herself for a hug. After a moment of hesitation, BECKY leans into her and returns the embrace.

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

KEVIN is rummaging through the fridge. AJ walks in through the front door.

KEVIN: (walks into the living room; He jumps, upon seeing AJ) AJ!

AJ: What?

KEVIN: Why... Why aren't you at the hospital?

AJ: Why are you holding mustard and whipped cream?

 _*Laugh Track*_

Before KEVIN can answer, SUMMER walks into the living room in some lingerie.

SUMMER: Oh, Kevin, did you get mustard for my hotdog? (spots AJ) AJ!

While a * _L_ _augh_ Track* plays, SUMMER rushes back to KEVIN's bedroom. AJ stares after her, shakes his head, then looks back to KEVIN.

AJ: What... Why, man?

KEVIN: She has a Foreman grill in the room...

AJ: Does she?

KEVIN: ...no.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: I just came to grab a few of Charlotte's things.

KEVIN: Has it set in yet? The whole 'dad thing'?

AJ shakes his head, but smiles.

AJ: No, and I don't think it really will yet. That kid is my whole life now. It's such a huge thing, ya know?

KEVIN: Well, you got plenty of practice taking care of me.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ chuckles and nods his head.

AJ: That is true.

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (ALEXA'S BEDROOM)**

SETH and ALEXA are laying under the covers of her bed, presumably naked, breathing heavily.

 _*Oooh Track*_

ALEXA: (breathlessly) Wow...

SETH: I know.

ALEXA: No, I mean I just remembered I forgot to hand out the homework last week.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Was... It not good?

ALEXA: Did you not hear me screaming your name just now?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: I might have heard something like that...

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (kisses SETH on the cheek) Come on, you know you're my superstar. Who would constantly make me feel nice if you weren't here?

SETH: Dr Carter.

ALEXA: Well, maybe...

SETH: Excuse you?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Come on, babe, do you really think I find Dr Carter attractive?

SETH: Yeah, you literally moaned his name when you shook hands.

ALEXA: That was a reflex...

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: To what?

ALEXA: To handsome men. Which is why I can't say your name without having to sit down first.

 _*Oooh Track*_

SETH: I am pretty good looking.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA rolls her eyes, then kisses SETH on the lips.

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY is sitting on the couch, tub of ice cream in her hand and a bag of chips next to her on the couch.

WOMAN ON TV: (offscreen) I've always loved you...

BECKY: Lying bitch!

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA shuffles out of her bedroom, wrapped in her quilt. BECKY looks up at her for a second before going back to her tub of ice cream. ALEXA, without saying anything, sits beside BECKY and wraps some of the quilt around her. BECKY looks at ALEXA like she may cry. ALEXA smiles weakly at BECKY, then pulls her into her arms and hugs her as BECKY starts to cry.

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**


	17. S3E2: Speed Round

**INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

ALEXA emerges from her bedroom, dressed for her teaching job. SETH is sitting on the couch, looking at his phone.

ALEXA kisses SETH on the cheek.

ALEXA: Good morning, Seth.

SETH: Mornin', babe. You excited for your last day of school?

ALEXA: Excited? It's the last day of school, which means I won't have to deal with those little monsters for three whole months. But then I have a different class of terror coming next fall. Ugh, every year they just get worse...

SETH crosses his arms and smirks up at ALEXA.

ALEXA: (smiling bashfully) Except of course your wonderful, smart, sweet little boy, Jeremy.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: (chuckles) Yeah, he's actually pretty bummed out he won't get you as a teacher next year. You're one of his favorites.

ALEXA: Yeah? (she sits in Seth's lap) And who's you're favorite kindergarten teacher?

 _*Ooooh Track*_

The pile of blankets next to SETH and ALEXA moves.

ALEXA: Did that just move? Becky?!

BECKY sits up from under the pile of blankets. SETH and ALEXA scream.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I'd appreciate it if you two wouldn't fondle each other while I'm sitting right here.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Have you been here all morning?

BECKY: Aye, and before you ask, it isn't normal for something like that to happen at your age.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (kisses SETH's cheek) It's not his fault. Sometimes he's tired, or isn't in the mood...

SETH: (sarcastically) Thanks, babe.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **DIRECTED BY: CHRIS R. JACKSON & JOSEPH THOMAS**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFanWrites**

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY, dressed in her pajamas, is sitting on the couch watching tv. ALEXA walks in through the front door.

ALEXA: Are you still in your pj's?

BECKY: It's only nine am.

ALEXA: Becky, it's three in the afternoon.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: I've been gone all day.

BECKY: That explains why the three o'clock news is playing so early.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA sits on the couch.

ALEXA: Look, I know you're still beat up about Sasha.

BECKY: What? Me? Upset about the girl I've been in love with for two years cheating on me with a closeted mayoral candidate while I continue to give said mayoral candidate free lessons at the gym because she might be the next mayor of this city and hopefully finally get a speed bump put in in front of this building if I sweet talk her...?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: ...Not at all.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: (sighs) Look, I'm not saying you have to go. But a friend of mine at the school mentioned a speed dating thing going on at Murphy's tonight. It's apparently for lesbians only.

BECKY: Speed dating? Why would I want to date anyone right now after I _just_ broke up with Sasha?

ALEXA: I'm not saying go home with any of them. I'm just saying you should go out and talk to some people, right? See if you can find a new friend.

BECKY sighs. She nods her head.

BECKY: Not saying yes, but I'll think about it.

ALEXA: Good, but either way, could you go shower?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I would, but somebody's been using my conditioner as lube.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Just use mine. I promise you'll have fun if you decide to go.

ALEXA leaves the couch for her bedroom. BECKY sighs heavily and gets off the couch also.

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

CHARLOTTE is sitting on the couch, breastfeeding EVAN. KEVIN walks into the kitchen, from behind CHARLOTTE. He sees what she is doing and nearly trips.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: If you're going to break any of my furniture, could you please wait until I'm out of the room?

KEVIN: I could ask the same with you and your boobies.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN walks into the living room.

CHARLOTTE: You could always move out if the miracle of a mother feeding her child is too much for you.

KEVIN: Funny you should mention that. I'm moving out by the end of the week.

CHARLOTTE: I call bull.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: No bull. Summer wants me to move in. Since I know you guys want space to raise Evan, I've decided to go ahead and accept her offer.

CHARLOTTE: Wow, that's good for you, Kevin. I'd say you're welcome back anytime, but I'm afraid you'd take that too literal.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: I think I'm going to miss you're sarcastic humor most of all, Charlotte.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)**

BECKY, dressed in nice clothes and looking showered, walks over to SUMMER, who is talking with a few women.

BECKY: Hey, Summer.

SUMMER: Becky, good to see you. Alexa mentioned you might be stopping by.

BECKY: Well, she insisted I shower and put on something other than pj's. Just hope I remembered to DVR Monday Night RAW. (she turns to the camera and winks)

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: Great. (she hands BECKY a clipboard) Just sign your name and I'll put you at a table. You're a good friend, so I won't make you move from table to table.

BECKY: Thanks, Summer.

SUMMER leads BECKY over to a booth.

SUMMER: Ok, so the way this works is you'll have two minutes to talk to the girl that sits in front of you. After two minutes is up, they'll leave and the next girl will sit down. But, if you want, you can drop out if you want to keep talking to the girl you've met or if you don't want to do this anymore. It's real simple.

BECKY: Ok, sounds easy enough.

SUMMER: Great, we'll be starting soon.

SUMMER walks away. BECKY takes a moment to make sure her outfit is nice and presentable. BAYLEY sits down across from BECKY.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY looks up to see BAYLEY.

BECKY: (shaking her head slowly) Why?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: I'm just here to meet a new friend.

BECKY: You're picking up a woman to have a threesome with you and Sami.

BAYLEY: (nodding her head slowly) Yeah.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Do you want...

BECKY: (cutting BAYLEY off, sternly) No.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. MURHPY'S BAR (BAR AREA)**

SUMMER walks over to the bar. ALEXA, KEVIN, and SETH are sitting by the bar.

ALEXA: How's she doing?

SUMMER: So far, so good. I don't think she's really clicked with anyone yet.

ALEXA: That's ok. She's only talked to a few people.

KEVIN: I gotta say, it's really sweet of you to set this whole thing up just for Becky.

ALEXA: (shrugs) My gal pal needed a good time. I figured this was a good idea.

As an _*Awww Track*_ plays, SETH kisses ALEXA on the cheek.

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)**

BECKY is sitting across the table from NIA.

BECKY: Do you still play basketball?

NIA: Yep, I play semi-pro for the women's team in town.

BECKY: That's so cool. So I guess you could say you're really good at scoring?

 _*Laugh Track*_

NIA: Huh?

BECKY: (shaking her head) No, nothing... Just... Bad...

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. MURHPY'S BAR (DINING AREA)**

ASUKA sits down across from BECKY.

ASUKA: (speaks in Japanese)

BECKY: (replies in surprisingly good Japanese)

ASUKA: (continues speaking in Japanese)

BECKY: (shakes her head, then replies in Japanese)

ASUKA gasps and storms away from the table.

SUMMER: (walks up to BECKY's table) What happened with Asuka?

BECKY: I told her I didn't like BTS.

SUMMER gasps and walks away.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)**

LANA sits down across from BECKY.

LANA gives BECKY a once over.

LANA: Nah.

LANA gets up and walks away, leaving BECKY confused.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)**

BECKY is sitting with her head propped up with her hand. RHEA is leaning back in her side of the booth with her feet propped up on the table.

RHEA: So, that was the second career TKO I ever had. That girl was so pretty, it truly was a shame I had to break her nose.

BECKY: (completely uninterested) Wow.

 _*Laugh Track*_

RHEA: Yeah, but I ended up sleeping with her anyway. Funny thing I start the night covered covered in sweat and her blood and end the night covered in sweat and a different bodily fluid of hers.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: (off-screen) Time.

RHEA gets up from the table and walks away. BECKY sighs heavily and shakes her head. TONI sits across from BECKY and smiles.

TONI: Hi.

BECKY sits up straight.

BECKY: H-hi.

TONI: My name's Toni, it's good to meet you.

BECKY: (shaking hands with TONI) Good to meet you also. I'm Becky.

The two girls lower their hands, but they don't let go of each other. BECKY realizes what she's doing, chuckles nervously, and pulls her hand away.

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (BAR AREA)**

ALEXA: And I think we have a winner.

KEVIN: How can you tell?

SETH: Becky does that giggly thing when she's nervous. Did it hundreds of times with Sasha.

ALEXA and KEVIN look at SETH in surprise.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: (shakes his head) Good God, what the hell happened to me?

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)**

TONI: You're a personal trainer too? That's so funny.

BECKY: (smiling brightly) Right? And I can't believe you have no idea how American football works either.

TONI: It's so stupidly confusing sometimes.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER: (off-screen) Time.

BECKY and TONI share a nervous look.

BECKY: Looks like time is up.

TONI: Yeah, apparently.

They sit in silence for a few moments.

TONI: Would you like to pull out of the game and have a drink with me?

BECKY: (grinning widely) Yes, I would.

TONI and BECKY make there way to the bar. KEVIN, SETH, and ALEXA discreetly move to the dining area without BECKY seeing them.

ALEXA: Good for Becky; She really needed this.

NIA approaches ALEXA. ALEXA turns her head, then her head snaps up and she jumps.

 _*Laugh Track*_

NIA: Hey, gorgeous, you part of the speed dating thing?

ALEXA turns to find SETH and KEVIN fleeing the scene.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **EXT. OUTSIDE BECKY'S APARTMENT BUILDING**

BECKY and TONI walk up to the front entrance.

TONI: So the quarterback can throw the ball too?

BECKY: Apparently, or something.

TONI: Why can't he run it himself?

BECKY: That's what I said!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Well, this is my apartment building. I had a really good time talking with you.

TONI: It was a lot of fun talking with you. I wouldn't mind seeing you again.

BECKY bashfully smiles and drops her head. TONI steps in, sets her hand on BECKY's cheek, then kisses her on the lips. When the kiss breaks, BECKY's smile grows bigger.

TONI: Is that ok?

BECKY giggles uncontrollably and nods her head.

 _*Laugh Track*_

TONI: Can I kiss you again?

BECKY nods her head, but stops TONI from leaning in again.

BECKY: I need to tell you something, if you really want to find out if this will lead to something.

TONI: Ok. You can tell me anything you think you need to.

BECKY: I... I just broke up with my ex-fiance a few weeks ago. I found out she was cheating on me with another woman. I didn't even want to come out tonight, but my friend Alexa talked me into it. I just wanted to sit and wallow in my own sadness, but I talked myself into going.

TONI: Are you happy you did?

BECKY: (smiling) Yes, I am. You are a very nice girl, Toni, and I'd like to see you again if you'll let me.

TONI: You will, I promise you that. You shouldn't worry about me being scared off about old exes. My... Ex was a really bad person, but I don't let that stop me from living my best life. I just wake up every morning, smile, and say today's going to be better than tomorrow. And today is better than yesterday.

BECKY: Why's that?

TONI: I met you.

 _*Awww Track*_

BECKY starts giggling uncontrollably again.

 _*Laugh Track*_

TONI: I'll be patient with you, just as long as you're the same with me.

BECKY: Of course.

TONI leans in for another kiss. BECKY lets her this time. They continue for a moment, before breaking away.

TONI: I'll see you again?

BECKY: Tomorrow morning?

TONI: What, like a breakfast date?

BECKY shakes her head. She takes TONI's hand and leads her into the apartment building.

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (BECKY'S BEDROOM)**

The next morning, BECKY wakes up in her bed. She stretches her back, before realizing she's alone. She sits up, sighs heavily, then drops her head in her hands.

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (KITCHEN)**

BECKY shuffles into the room. TONI is standing at the stove, cooking breakfast.

TONI: Good morning.

BECKY: (surprised) Hey, I thought you left.

TONI shakes her head.

TONI: After last night? Good luck ever getting rid of me.

 _*Laugh Track*_

TONI sets a plate and coffee mug on the table.

TONI: I hope it's ok I made coffee and eggs. Scrambled and dark, like you said you liked it. I'll pay you back, if you want.

BECKY shakes her head.

BECKY: That won't be necessary.

TONI: I also borrowed a pair of sweat pants. I don't mean to intrude.

BECKY, grinning widely, kisses TONI on the lips.

BECKY: Thank you.

TONI: You're welcome, Becky. If you decide you want to be my girlfriend, I promise there will be more like this in the future.

BECKY nods her head.

BECKY: How can I say no to that then?

BECKY and TONI kiss again.

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**


	18. S3E3: Moving Out, Kevin's Song

**INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

AJ and KEVIN are both seen carrying boxes into the living room and setting them among a pile of other boxes. CHARLOTTE is sitting on the couch with her baby in her arms.

AJ: (sets a box down) Ya know, Kev, I still surprised to see you moving out.

KEVIN: It was bound to happen sooner or later, right?

CHARLOTTE: Not soon enough.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Oh, Char. I think your sarcastic sense of humor is what I'll miss most of all.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ looks around at all the boxes.

AJ: Summer's on her way with the Uhaul?

KEVIN: Yeah, she's got a moving crew hired to move some of my furniture.

CHARLOTTE: What furniture do you own besides your bed and that horrible antique jukebox that doesn't work unless you use Canadian currency?

KEVIN: The couch.

AJ and CHARLOTTE exchange a confused look.

AJ: What are you talking about?

KEVIN: Remember? When I moved in, we put my couch in the living room and your old one in the basement.

AJ shakes his head and chuckles.

AJ: I don't remember doing that. We don't have a couch in the basement.

KEVIN: Right, because we couldn't get it down the stairs. So we kept it wedged at the top of the stairs for the last decade... (KEVIN crosses the room and opens a door next to the hallway door; A couch is wedged in the doorway to the basement) See?

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: (to AJ) Is that why we have to buy new Christmas decorations every year?

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: (to KEVIN) Look, man, you can't take our couch. Doesn't Summer have one?

KEVIN: No, she had to throw it out after her old roommate gave birth on it.

AJ and CHARLOTTE share a look.

AJ: She didn't clean it?

KEVIN: Then she set in on fire when she got drunk this last New Year's.

AJ: I thought she was at Becky's for New Year's?

KEVIN: Yeah, that's why she stopped over. She wanted to see me and her apartment was being evacuated.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: You can't take the couch, Kev. We don't have any other furniture in here other than that couch.

KEVIN gestures at an arm chair in the corner.

KEVIN: You got the old La-Z-Boy. It's still good.

KEVIN sits in the chair. He pulls the lever for the foot rest and the chair falls apart.

* _Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: (still laying in the rubble) Ok, I see your point.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **DIRECTED BY: CHRIS R. JACKSON & JOSEPH THOMAS**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFanWrites**

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY is sitting on the couch. She's wearing dress clothes (a long sleeve plain white tee and black jeans) and has her hair curled. ALEXA and SETH emerge from ALEXA'S room, also wearing nice clothing.

ALEXA: Ready?

BECKY: Yeah, Toni says she's on her way. (there's a knock at the door) Ah, that might be her.

BECKY gets off the couch and answers the door. TONI walks into frame wearing a fancy cocktail dress and her hair curled.

 _*Excited Ooh Track*_

SETH, ALEXA, BECKY: (to TONI) Whoa.

 _*Laugh Track*_

TONI: What? I thought we were going out with Seth and Alexa?

BECKY: Yeah, we are, but just to Murphy's for a burger. You...

TONI: Did I overdress? Should I go home and change?

BECKY: Nonononononono!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: You look lovely, darling.

TONI: Good, I'm glad you think so.

SETH: Shall we?

SETH and TONI step out of the apartment. ALEXA stops BECKY before she can follow.

ALEXA: You ok?

BECKY: Yeah, why?

ALEXA: First date night since your break-up. Are you nervous at all?

BECKY is about to answer, but TONI walks in the room and she stops.

TONI: Ready, lovely?

BECKY: (smiles brightly) Yeah... I'm ready.

 _*Aww Track*_

BECKY, TONI and ALEXA leave the apartment.

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

AJ, CHARLOTTE and KEVIN are all sitting on the couch.

AJ: I don't get why you need to take it. Just take the old one if you need a couch.

KEVIN: Then you keep the old one. I'll take mine and you can-

CHARLOTTE: (cutting in, yelling) WE CAN'T KEEP THAT OLD COUCH!

AJ: Why?

CHARLOTTE: The day before Kevin moved in?

AJ: What...? (his eyes suddenly go wide) Oh my God...

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: (to KEVIN) Yeah, you can't have the old one either.

KEVIN: Why?

CHARLOTTE: Because you can't!

AJ: It's where we had the threesome with Bayley.

CHARLOTTE: AJ!

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: You guys moved in after college! I thought you had the threesome recently.

AJ: Well, the third one was, but the other two-

CHARLOTTE: (cutting AJ off, yelling) SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Alright, I'm going to pretend you guys didn't just admit to having three threesomes with Bayley...

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: But, I should still have the right to take my couch back.

AJ and CHARLOTTE: No!

SUMMER enters the house.

SUMMER: Kev, why aren't you ready? The movers are here.

KEVIN: We're arguing over who gets the couch.

SUMMER: We do. It's ours.

CHARLOTTE gets up, ready to fight SUMMER from the look on her face. AJ wraps his arm around CHARLOTTE'S waist and stops her.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. MURHPY'S BAR (BAR AREA)**

A waitress walks away from a table with BECKY, TONI, SETH and ALEXA. ALEXA is sitting beside SETH and BECKY is sitting next to TONI.

TONI: This is nice. I'm having a good time getting to know you guys.

SETH: Yeah, it's a good night. You should how Alexa talks to the wait staff when she's in a bad mood.

ALEXA gives SETH a dirty look.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Well, I wasn't in a bad mood before. But I am now, so I guess I can take it out on you later.

 _*Laugh Track*_

TONI: What do you mean by that?

BECKY leans over and whispers something into TONI'S ear.

TONI: (with wide eyes) No!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Well, it was nice meeting you, Toni. But I'm gonna go hang myself in the bathroom.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH stands up and walks away.

TONI: Actually, I do have to excuse myself.

TONI kisses BECKY on the lips, then stands up and leaves.

ALEXA: I like her. Toni is a great girl.

BECKY: I'm glad you think so too. She's a big sweetheart and likes the same movies I do. She's just like-

ALEXA: Sasha?

BECKY: (shaking her head) What? No. What are you talking about?

ALEXA points across the room. BECKY turns to see her ex standing near the bar with EMBER.

BECKY shakes her head and gets up from the table.

 _*Sad Oooh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. CHARLOTTE AND AJ'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

A moving crew is carrying boxes out of the house. CHARLOTTE, AJ, SUMMER and KEVIN are all packed on the couch.

Two crew members walk buy with an old jukebox.

KEVIN: Careful with that jukebox. It's an antique.

CHARLOTTE: I'll give both of you a hundred dollars to drop it.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: If I can't have the old couch, then you guys should have no issue using it.

CHARLOTTE: We can't, ok! It's not a couch I want our son or dog playing on.

KEVIN: Why do you get to keep Owen?

CHARLOTTE: Do you want me to kill you?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER stands up.

SUMMER: Well, couch or no couch, I have to go back to my house and make sure none of my man-child boyfriend's crap gets broken.

SUMMER storms out of the house.

AJ and KEVIN exchange a look.

AJ: I kinda forgot that you're not living here anymore after today.

KEVIN: You just figured that out?

CHARLOTTE: I've been dreaming about it for years.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ and KEVIN both get up from the couch.

AJ: Look, man, you can take it. We'll have to make due with the old one for a while. Think of it as a home warming gift.

KEVIN: No, you can keep it, man. I'll just have to use Summer's recliners and stuff.

AJ: No, c'mon, man. You can have it.

CREW MEMBER: One of you make a decision.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Take it.

The crew members lift the couch, CHARLOTTE still sitting on it, and carry it out the door.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: I'm gonna miss you, Kev.

KEVIN and AJ share a hug.

KEVIN: You know I'm only moving a few blocks away, right? You can visit any time you want.

AJ: Yeah, but with the baby now it'll probably be a while.

KEVIN: Whenever you want, man. You're always welcome.

CHARLOTTE walks back into the house.

CHARLOTTE: (walking towards her room) I kicked your stupid jukebox.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **EXT. OUTSIDE MURPHY'S BAR (BACK ALLEY)**

BECKY is sitting against the wall with her face in her hands. TONI sits next to her.

TONI: Alexa said you saw your ex.

BECKY nods her head.

TONI: Do you still want her?

BECKY shakes her head.

TONI: You're just upset she was a cheating ho-bag?

A _*Laugh Track*_ plays while BECKY nods her head. TONI pulls BECKY into her chest. BECKY starts giggling.

TONI: What's so funny?

BECKY: You put my face in your boobies.

 _*Laugh Track*_

TONI picks BECKY'S chin up.

TONI: You ok?

BECKY: (nods her head) Yeah, I'm done with her. I swear I don't want anything to do with her anymore. It just sucks.

TONI: I get it, Becky. It just sucks I have to see you go through such an awful situation.

BECKY cups TONI'S face and kisses her.

BECKY: I love you, Toni.

 _*Excited Oooh Track*_

TONI smirks.

TONI: Took you long enough to tell me.

BECKY and TONI kiss while a _*Cheer Track*_ plays.

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

AJ and CHARLOTTE, along with their baby and OWEN, are sitting on a different couch than from before.

AJ: Well, I think we're going to be ok with this couch for a while. Figure some Febreze, a new cover and some soap and water and it'll be good.

There's a knock at the door.

AJ: Come in!

BAYLEY walks into the house.

BAYLEY: Hey, Sami wanted me to return these headphones and I have one of Charlotte's swimsuits.

AJ: You can put it on the kitchen counter.

BAYLEY points at the couch with a smile.

BAYLEY: Good to see that ol' thing again.

CHARLOTTE throws AJ a dirty look.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**


	19. S3E4: Bayley the Expert

**INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

AJ is sitting on the couch. CHARLOTTE, with EVAN in her arms, walks into the room.

CHARLOTTE: Hey, you're home early.

AJ: Yeah, they cut our hours. I'm only working eight hours everyday this week.

CHARLOTTE: No more overtime?

AJ: Not at the moment. Which means I won't be bringing in as much as I usually do.

CHARLOTTE: It's not that big of a deal. We make more than enough with you and your big fancy salesman job.

AJ: That sounded oddly sarcastic.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE sits next to AJ.

CHARLOTTE: Hey, we're proud of you. No matter what. What else has been going on? You seem really down.

AJ: I don't know. The boss has been really on my back lately. He used to be so eager to hear my ideas, but now I usually just agree to whatever he says to save the argument.

CHARLOTTE: He sounds like a jerk.

AJ: I know. It's like working with you.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE gives AJ a dirty look.

AJ: But I love you so much, darling.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Mmmhmmm.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Anyway, I'll be home earlier than normal from now on.

CHARLOTTE: I think it's a good thing. Evan misses his daddy too sometimes. I miss my daddy too.

AJ: You call Ric almost every day.

CHARLOTTE: Not him, AJ.

 _*Excited Ooh Track*_

AJ: (to EVAN) I think that means mama wants to make you a little brother or sister.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **DIRECTED BY: CHRIS R. JACKSON & JOSEPH THOMAS**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFanWrites**

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BECKY and TONI are on the couch, watching tv and eating a bowl of popcorn.

TONI: Wait, what episode are you on? I think I missed this one.

BECKY: Seven, same as you.

TONI: Huh, maybe I fell asleep. You know, you kinda look like that redhead in the show.

BECKY: Rebecca in SU looks nothing like me.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA walks in the room.

ALEXA: What up, my homo homies?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Your eviction, if you ever call me that again.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA next to BECKY on the couch. ALEXA sighs heavily. BECKY and TONI continue watching tv. ALEXA sighs heavier, but BECKY and TONI still ignore her. ALEXA sighs WAY over-dramatically, making BECKY jump slightly.

 _*Laugh Track*_

Becky: (annoyed) What?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: I have a question. For both of you, I guess.

BECKY: Ok, what is it?

ALEXA: How do you have sex with a girl?

TONI chokes on her drink.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Uh...

ALEXA: Seth wanted me to ask you guys for advice.

TONI: That is just confusing.

 _*Laugh Track*_

TONI: Like, I know he likes it up the [CENSORED], but I didn't think he was making the full jump.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: No, he's not doing anything like that. I... Got drunk last night and told him I wanted to have a threesome with another girl.

BECKY: And you're complaining?

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Well, he's holding me to it and now he wants me to find another girl to do it with. I mean, who would even want to do that? Would you two ever invite another girl to have sex with your partner?

BECKY and TONI: Yeah!

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Why?

BECKY and TONI: More boobies!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY and TONI: (to each other) I love you so much.

TONI and BECKY kiss.

 _*Laugh and Aww Track*_

ALEXA: Can you guys teach me?

TONI: You don't really learn how to do it, Lex. You kinda just go with it.

ALEXA: Well, I don't know how to do that. If you guys can't, can you... Becky who are you calling?

BECKY: (on the phone) Hey, Bayley, Alexa wants to know how to have sex with a woman.

BAYLEY immediately walks through the door.

BAYLEY: I came as soon as I could.

 _*Laugh Track*_

Alexa: Oh, God...

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (MASTER BEDROOM)**

AJ and CHARLOTTE are laying under the covers, presumably naked.

CHARLOTTE: Wow, I really needed that.

AJ: I think I miss Kevin.

CHARLOTTE: Not really the first thing you wanna hear after sex.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: You were amazing, you know that. I just think that's why I've been bummed out lately. I don't get to see him as much as I used to.

CHARLOTTE: Aww, I'm sorry, sweetie. Actually, I kinda miss him too.

AJ: Wow, that must've hurt to say.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, like a hot iron in my eye.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: The house is a lot quieter with him living with Summer. He usually has the tv up so loud you can't even hear me during.

AJ: I think that's why he had the tv up so loud.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: As for the work thing. I don't know, it's not the best job in the world, but I'm providing for you and Evan and that's what matters the most. I can always suck it up for the sake of you two.

CHARLOTTE: I'm glad you think so. I'm so proud of you for always being there for me and Evan. We both love you so much, baby.

AJ: You got fired for taking too much time off, didn't you?

CHARLOTTE: They called right before you got home.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Is that why you let me finish anywhere?

CHARLOTTE: Pretty much.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (KITCHEN)**

BAYLEY and ALEXA are sitting at the kitchen table. TONI and BECKY are standing behind them.

BAYLEY: And after that, you wanna start going twice as fast. Not pushing, remember, but just a little force won't hurt.

BECKY: (writing on a notepad) Holy cow.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: What about after that?

BAYLEY: Like it's an ice cream cone on a warm, sunny day.

TONI: (also taking notes) Of course!

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Counterclockwise or clockwise?

BECKY, TONI, and BAYLEY: Always clockwise.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Wow, I can't believe I'm saying this, but... Thank you, Bayley, for teaching me how to please another woman. I mean, now I know Seth's been doing it WAY wrong for months.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Anytime, Lexi.

ALEXA: You're not gonna try and hit on me? This seems like the most appropriate time to do that.

BAYLEY: I would never...

ALEXA: Sami?!

SAMI walks into the kitchen.

SAMI: Hey.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: I figured you were here. You're keeping an eye on Bayley?

SAMI: No... (holds up a notepad) I'm taking notes.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. BECKY AND ALEXA'S APARTMENT (ALEXA'S BEDROOM)**

ALEXA and SETH are cuddling in bed.

ALEXA: Hey, just so you know, Bayley taught me how to do it with another girl.

SETH: What?

ALEXA: She gave me lessons today. I think I'm ready to have a threesome.

SETH: I was kidding, babe. I don't want to have a threeway.

ALEXA: So, I just learned about oral sex for four hours from Bayley for no reason?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: I guess?

ALEXA pulls back the blankets.

SETH: What are you doing?

ALEXA: Not me. You. You're gonna learn a thing or two today, sir.

 _*Laugh Track*_ plays as ALEXA pushes SETH under the covers.

* * *

 **INT. CHARLOTTE AND AJ'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)**

AJ and CHARLOTTE are sitting on the couch.

AJ: (on the phone) Hey, Kev... Yeah, I'm doing good. Listen, we haven't gotten the chance to really hang out since you moved, so I was wondering if you and Summer would wanna come over for dinner tomorrow night... No, this was Charlotte's idea... I'm just as shocked as you are.

 _*Laugh Track*_

AJ: Great... See you then, man.

AJ hangs up the phone.

CHARLOTTE: Everything good?

AJ: He begged me to make dinner, because he's worried this is a ruse to poison him.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: I won't. Promise. Maybe something easy, like burgers on the grill.

AJ: Great idea, Char. Maybe, since the baby's asleep.

CHARLOTTE: You getting to aim freely was a one time thing.

AJ: Dammit.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. BAYLEY'S APARTMENT (BEDROOM)**

BAYLEY is lying under the covers of her bed. BECKY suddenly bursts into the room, hair a frizzled mess.

BECKY: You're a genius!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: I know.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY leaves. DANA pokes her head out from under the blanket.

DANA: Want me to keep going?

BAYLEY: Yeah.

SAMI pokes his head out from under the blanket.

SAMI: Actually, Dana, you wanna grab another jar of peanut butter quick?

 _*Laugh Track*_

DANA leaves the room. SAMI ducks back under the blankets. BAYLEY smiles to herself and puts both hands behind her head.

 _*Laugh Track*_

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**


	20. S3E5: Bet

**INT. - DDP'S GYM (OFFICE)**

TONI is sitting in front of DDP's desk.

DDP: I gotta say, Toni, you have an impressive resume. And you're only twenty-three years old?

TONI: That's right, sir.

DDP: Amazing. I'm surprised you haven't given us a call before. I can have you start today if you want?

TONI: That would be perfect.

DDP and TONI shake hands. TONI leaves the office.

* * *

 **INT. - DDP'S GYM (MAIN ROOM)**

BECKY is waiting for TONI outside the office.

BECKY: Well?

TONI: You're looking at the newest member of DDP's training team!

BECKY: Yes!

TONI tries to hug BECKY, but BECKY stops her.

TONI: What are you doing?

BECKY: Why do we always have to hug? Why not a firm handshake.

TONI: You didn't tell them we're together, did you?

BECKY: I might've left that out when giving my recommendation.

 _*Laugh Track*_

TONI: Great. Well, that shouldn't that big of a deal. I'll just have to keep things professional.

ENZO and LIV step out of the bathroom. ENZO has a big smile on his face. LIV fixes her top and leaves.

TONI: Unlike some.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ENZO: What do we got ova here? We gots a new hottie workin' for the 'Zo?

TONI: I thought this guy wasn't real.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: I'm not that lucky.

 _*Laugh Track*_

DDP leaves his office.

DDP: Toni, again, welcome to the team. Enzo, get the hell out of here! You're done!

ENZO: For what!?

DDP: Sleeping with the clients, for one.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ENZO: Who, Liv? I was helpin' her with her downward dog, how you doin'?

DDP: I will break your freaking legs.

ENZO bolts out of the gym while a _*Laugh Track*_ plays.

DDP: I'm hoping you won't sleep with any of the clients?

TONI: Of course not.

DDP returns to his office.

TONI: The staff, on the other hand.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]**

 **DIRECTED BY: CHRIS R. JACKSON & JOSEPH THOMAS**

 **CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFanWrites**

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. - MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)**

BECKY, TONI, AJ, CHARLOTTE, KEVIN, SETH, ALEXA, SAMI and BAYLEY are sitting around a table.

TONI: ...so now I have to pretend like I'm not dating Rebecca. It's going to drive me insane.

SETH: That's gotta be tough.

BAYLEY: Becky is short for Rebecca?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SUMMER arrives with everyone's food orders. KEVIN gives SUMMER a kiss before she leaves.

KEVIN: See, that's why you shouldn't work the same place as someone you're dating. It'll just lead to meaningless drama.

ALEXA: I would never do that.

KEVIN looks at ALEXA, then directly into the camera.

 _*Laugh Track*_

CHARLOTTE: Me neither. That just seems like too much to handle.

KEVIN is still staring into the camera.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: I'd think it would lead to some kind of scandal that would lose one of you their job.

KEVIN: (into the camera) Ok, that one was kinda over the top.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: It'll just be hard not being able to kiss her all day. I'm used to doing it whenever I want.

ALEXA: Especially during dinner. For no reason.

TONI: You dared us!

ALEXA: That doesn't mean I want your gay all over the apartment!

BECKY: (gesturing at SETH) Do we really want to go there?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: I haven't said a word to anyone this whole time.

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: I bet you can't go a whole day without kissing OR hugging Toni.

BECKY: Uh...

TONI: Deal.

BECKY gives TONI a confused look.

 _*Laugh Track*_

TONI: But you have to go a whole day without sex.

ALEXA: [CENSORED]

 _*Laugh Track*_

ALEXA: Fine. You have a deal.

BAYLEY: Wait, I want in!

SAMI: No trying to sleep with my roommate?

BAYLEY: It has to be hard, Sami, not impossible!

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: It's only fair.

BAYLEY: Fine. But you have to go the whole day without talking about your starter project.

SAMI: Sami for Syria is not a starter project!

KEVIN: And he's already out.

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Ok. Toni and I can't hug or kiss. No sex for Alexa. Bayley can't try to sleep with Dana. Sami can't talk about his charity thing. Anyone else want to get in on this?

AJ: We could all wager ten bucks. Make things a little interesting.

KEVIN: Does Charlotte let you spend that much money at once?

AJ: I bet you can't go a whole day without being sarcastic.

KEVIN squeezes his burger so hard that it breaks apart in his hands.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Fine. Deal. But you can't look at Charlotte's boobs for the entire day.

AJ: Hard, not impossible, Kevin.

 _*Laugh Track*_

SETH: Does anyone have one for me?

ALEXA: No forgetting to put the seat down.

SETH: Do it yourself, Lex.

ALEXA: I fell in last time!

 _*Laugh Track*_

An awkward silence falls over the table.

BECKY: Anyway...

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: No affection for me and Toni. Kevin can't be a dick. No boobs for AJ. Bayley can't hit on Dana. No talking about Sami for Syria. No sex for Alexa. No leaving the seat up for Seth. Good?

The group agrees.

BECKY: Great. Want anything from the bar, babe?

TONI: I'm good.

BECKY kisses TONI on the cheek and stands up. She pauses mid-stand, realizing she already broke the bet.

ALEXA: Was that four seconds?

 _*Laugh Track*_

BECKY: Shite.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. - ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

TONI, SETH, ALEXA, and BECKY walk into the room. ALEXA leads SETH by the hand to her bedroom.

BECKY: You'll lose the bet!

ALEXA: Don't care!

ALEXA's bedroom door shuts as a _*Laugh Track*_ plays.

BECKY: Looks like it's up to you to beat Bayley, Sami, Kevin and AJ. *her phone chimes* Oh? AJ's out too.

 _*Laugh Track*_

TONI: I need a kiss. I won't tell if you don't.

BECKY and TONI start to lean together, but pause when they notice someone behind the couch.

BECKY & TONI: Bayley!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: *stands up* I had to make sure you guys weren't breaking the rules! Do you know how hard it is not to hit on a blonde girl with really big boobs?

TONI and BECKY exchange a look. BECKY drops her gaze to TONI's chest.

BECKY: Yeah, I feel your pain, Bayley.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. - SAMI AND DANA'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

BAYLEY walks into the room. SAMI is sitting on the couch.

BAYLEY: Hey, babe.

SAMI: I can't talk about it!

 _*Laugh Track*_

BAYLEY: Oh... kay?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: I'm sorry. Eighty bucks isn't a lot of cash, but it would be pretty awesome to have bragging rights over Kevin.

BAYLEY: You could just annoy the heck out of him until he says something mean. Then all Toni has to do is kiss Becky and you win.

SAMI: Yeah, but you won't throw the bet for me.

BAYLEY: Oh, you're darn right I won't.

 _*Laugh Track*_

DANA walks into the room wrapped in a towel.

DANA: Can someone come help me unclog the drain?

BAYLEY: (fleeing the apartment) This is not a safe place!

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

 **INT. - DDP'S GYM (LOCKER ROOM)**

BECKY and TONI are changing out of their workout clothes.

TONI: (checking BECKY out) I'm really starting to regret making this bet, babe.

BECKY: Well, there's no one here to catch us at work. Maybe it'll be ok if we don't say anything.

TONI and BECKY kiss.

 _*Excited Ohh Track*_

KEVIN: (bursts from a locker with a video camera) Aha! I caught you two cheating!

BECKY: The hell are you doing in the women's room with a camera?

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Catching you two losing the bet already!

TONI: How long were you watching us?

KEVIN: Uh...

KEVIN runs from the room. TONI and BECKY start chasing him.

 _*Laugh Track*_

* * *

*15 second MnMs commercial

*15 second McDonald's commercial

*30 second preview of new Kardashian's show that makes you wonder what happened to the world

*1 minute trailer for upcoming action movie

* * *

 **INT. - ALEXA AND BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)**

SAMI, KEVIN, TONI and BECKY are sitting on the couch.

SAMI: Why do we have to watch documentaries about charity?

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Because Sami for Syria is a waste...

SAMI crosses his arms.

KEVIN: ...if you don't donate to the cause?

 _*Laugh Track*_

SAMI: Hey! My charity is not a waste, alright! I'll have you know... I just lost the freaking bet.

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: That just leaves me and Bayley!

BAYLEY walks out of ALEXA's room, hair a frizzled mess.

BAYLEY: Couldn't do it. (leaves the apartment)

 _*Laugh Track*_

KEVIN: Yes! In your face you bunch of jackasses! And no, Sami, nobody cares about your dumb charity!

SETH: Uh, Kev, I'm still in the bet. You just lost to me.

KEVIN: What?!

A loud splash is suddenly heard.

ALEXA: (from the bathroom) GODDAMMIT SETH!

SETH: Hide me!

SETH and KEVIN run from the apartment as a _*Laugh Track*_ plays.

* * *

 **[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]**


End file.
